When I'm browsing sex toy shops, I always wonder about the sex games on the shelves. They look like fun, but I'm never sure if they're worth the investment. Do you really need to roll dice to try new moves in bed, or can you just come up with the prompts yourself? Astroglide's resident sexologist "Dr. Jess" O'Reilly tells Bustle that you don't need to spend a dime to enjoy — and benefit from — some of the best sex games. There are a few you can make yourself right at home.
A game might be especially helpful if you and your partner have hit a dry spell. Sometimes, it takes a bit of variety to get super hot for each other again, and games all add variety. "Playing games is one way to reignite the spark — especially if those games push your comfort zone," says Dr. Jess. "They have the potential to reignite the feelings you experienced when you first met."
Here are a few simple sex games that can get you and your partner talking about sex, inspire you to explore new activities and fantasies, teach you about each other, and take your passion to the next level.
1The Frequency Exercise
A lot of couples feel unsatisfied with their sex lives due to miscommunications over how often each person wants sex, says Dr. Jess. The person in the relationship who wants more sex tends to think their partner wants less sex than they do, and the person who wants less tends to think their partner wants more sex than they do. In other words, partners overestimate the difference between each other's sex drives. As a result, the person who wants more sex may just give up, and the person who wants less may feel inadequate or pressured.
To clear up these misunderstandings, each person writes two numbers on a piece of paper for this game: how often they'd like to have sex, and how often they think their partner would. Then, exchange papers and have a conversation about how you can both meet each other's needs without anyone feeling pressured. "Formalizing the discussion related to sexual frequency helps to avoid miscommunications and inaccurate assumptions," says Dr. Jess.
When you're out with your partner, look around for people who might be checking one of you out. Then, when you're alone, you can tell each other what you might do if that other person were there. (This only works if it won't bother any of you, obviously.) You might say something like "I saw that waitress checking you out. I think she wanted a piece of you," says Dr. Jess.
3Pick A Card
Make cards with all sorts of sexual activities you'd enjoy. (Look some up online if you're out of ideas.) Then, one of you picks five they like, the other person draws one, and they have 24 hours to get it done — as long as everyone consents, obviously.
These three very different games should be plenty to occupy you night after night without buying anything.