5 Common Sleeping Positions For Couples And What They Mean For Your Relationship

by Isadora Baum, CHC
Ashley Batz/Bustle

Ever wonder if the way you sleep means something? Turns out, it does. And, if you're sleeping with a significant other, it could convey a greater meaning as to how your relationship is going. Your sleeping position with your partner might show how the two of you react or feel towards each other, or how confident and secure you might feel in the relationship. For instance, if you're touching or are apart, it could mean totally different things, and provide some hidden insight into any relationship issues that might be prevalent.

As a certified health coach, I work with clients on understanding more about themselves, their needs, and their relationships, especially those that are deeper and more impactful in other areas of life. And, beyond just getting in tune with relationships, learning more about the significance of your sleeping position is also important to better understand and uncover unresolved issues that might not make their way to the surface, in let's say, normal waking hours. By seeing how your sleeping habits can influence the way you and your significant other feel about each other, you'll both be able to improve and adjust based on each other's given needs. Here's what your sleeping position with your boo might be telling you.



Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

"[When you're spooning each night] the relationship is most likely newer," Hilary Thompson, wellness consultant with SleepTrain​, tells Bustle. "The couple hates to spend any time apart, even if they are going to be sleeping through it. There is a lot of exciting energy in the relationship. Even couples that start in this position usually migrate away from each other through the night, which is completely understandable."


Slightly Touching

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There's no spooning or major cuddling here, and you might sleep apart, but you'll still stay connected through minimal touch. "The couple is established in their connection and secure in their love for one another," says Thompson. "They can be apart, but like to remind each other of their presence and affection." Here, it's likely in a somewhat new relationship, but there's still some familiarity.


Not Touching

Sometimes you just want to share and bed and keep your personal space, right? According to Thompson, this doesn't mean there's any lack of affection. Couples who sleep without touching may have been together for a long time, but still may give a gentle squeeze if they wake up or change positions.


Sleeping In Different Beds

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"The concern I have is when couples stop sleeping in the same bed for whatever reason (snoring, kids, pets) as they are missing out on an important bonding moment with their partner," says Thompson. "Many couples who sleep separately feel that distance in their waking relationships."

But that's not the case for everyone. If sleeping with your partner affects the amount of rest you're getting, many experts suggest sleeping away from your partner to avoid any potential health repercussions from lack of sleep. What's more, getting a good night's sleep can help you be more present in your relationship during your waking hours.


Facing Each Other

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"It could indicate that subconsciously you might be keeping your partner in mind while you sleep if you face each other, and maintaining your independence from them when you face away, but positions change so much through the night, I wouldn't read heavily into that," says Thompson. It is but a small part of the bigger picture of physical connection with your partner.

Although you may not even be aware of how you're sleeping while you blissfully snooze, if you blink open an eye and take notice, you never know what you may learn about your resting and waking relationship.