a one-night stand can be a great experience — or a not-so-great one. "If you want to have a one-night stand, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons," Dr. Megan Stubbs, a sex and relationship expert, tells Bustle. "That this is something you 100 percent want to do, and you aren't being pressured or under the impression that this will make someone like you more." And part of that is knowing yourself. Some people are just never going to be comfortable with random hookups. And if you're that sort of person — that is totally OK. Don't ever do something when you know you're not going to feel good about it.
But if you are up for one-night stands and enjoy having casual sex, then there's no reason why you shouldn't go for it — as long as you're safe and both people are on the same page. In fact, sometimes a random hookup just what you need..
So if you're feeling in the mood for something sexy, you should totally go for it. Here are some very good reasons to have a one-night stand— though you may totally have your own, too.
You Have A Friend It Can Work With
Sometimes, finding a person who is genuinely relaxed and experimental about sex is a good reason to go for one a casual hookup. "It takes two very self-aware individuals to be
able to navigate intimacy between friends without crushed expectations and misunderstandings," Zoë Kors, a sex and intimacy coach, tells Bustle. "The aspects of freedom, play, and escapism that make a one-night stand so attractive don’t really exist when it’s sex with a friend. Open, honest, dialogue — with each other and with yourself — goes a long way in creating the clarity necessary for a positive experience."
If you both feel like you're on the same page, why not give it a try?
You Need A Break From Your Normal Life
"A one-night stand is like a vacation," Kors says. "It can be very therapeutic to be intimate with someone who exists outside the structures of our regular lives. It’s a great way to step out of the bubble for a moment and play." If you just need a break from your normal routine, a one-night stand can be like your own little fantasy land.
If you've been looking for a way to mix up your sex life but feel awkward about experimenting, sometimes it help to try it with someone totally outside of your normal zone. If it's with someone random, it's easier to disconnect — so use it as
your time to play. "Speak up in bed," Stubbs suggests. "Ask for what you want. What kind of touch? What kind of pressure, speed, intensity? Where do you want them to pleasure you?"
Sometimes we go through a dry spell. I've gone through some
very dry spells. If you're just interested in sex for the sake of having a great time and breaking the spell — why the hell not?
You Know They've Worked For You Before
Some of us just really like one-night stands. One of my friends has had them regularly for years and always feels good about them. She knows they work and knows what to expect. "If you go into it expecting just a one-night stand, one and done, it'll feel much more liberating," Yue Xu,
dating expert and host of the Date/able Podcast, tells Bustle. If you know it's your thing, there's no reason to feel weird about it.
If you're in the mood for a blast from the
way past, a one-night stand with an ex can work. "Sometimes we allow our past relationships to disallow our future relationships and happiness," Clarissa Silva, Behavioral Scientist and author of relationship blog You're Just A Dumbass, tells Bustle. "When that is the case, going back to move forward can sometimes make us see that we've idealized the relationship. Revisiting the sexual side of the relationship can help resolve some of that past hurt."
Just make sure it's not going to do more harm than good, because for some people it's not a good idea. For others, though, it's a healthy bit of nostalgia.
Because You Feel Like It
I mean, it's your life and your body. There are a million reasons you should go for it if you want to.
One-night stands can be silly, fun, cathartic — and yes, sometimes downright awkward. But if you want to have some sex for sex's sake, there's no reason you shouldn't have it. Sometimes you just want to cut loose.
Check out the “Sex & Relationships” stream in the Bustle App for tips, tricks, and advice on friends, sex, dating, and everything in-between.