7 Questions You Should Definitely Ask On A First Date, According To Experts
Online dating and apps are fun. Swiping through people when you are with a group of friends can be a good laugh. But when it comes down to dating it is tough. There is no one set of rules. What may work perfectly with one person will be an epic fail with another. Going in with a few conversation starters can be super helpful and having questions is key. The whole point of dating is to find out more about the person after all. Here are the top seven questions to ask on a first date, according to experts. A serious amount of research has gone into what makes the perfect first date. Is there one formula for the perfect first meeting?
The University of Liverpool teamed up with eharmony to establish what the most important questions are to ask on a date. The top three questions that the study found people wanted to ask were "why did your last relationship really end?" (20 percent), "do you abuse drugs or alcohol?" (15 percent), and "when was the last time you took an STI test?" (15 percent). While all of those things are important, they might not get you too far in terms of light-hearted and fun conversation.
With that in mind, here are seven questions you should ask on a first date to keep things light, but cover some important ground.
1. How Did You Vote In The Brexit Referendum?
Two areas that seem like they should be dating disasters are politics and Brexit. However, Dr Eric Robinson from the University of Liverpool suggests discussing how you voted in the EU referendum might not be such a bad idea. He said, “research suggests that opposing political views can cause relationships to fail. The issue is most prominent amongst younger generations with reports showing 22 percent of millennial couples have broken up with someone over political differences. So, the sooner you know your partner’s outlook the better.”
2. How Did You Spend Last Christmas & New Year?
If you are on a date in spring bringing up Christmas could seem a little random. However, how your date spent the festive period could say a lot about them as a person. Dr Robinson suggested how we engage with the festive season can reveal how introverted or extroverted we are. He said, "how people spend Christmas and New Year can reveal how close they are to their family and the likelihood that they are want to be in a committed relationship."
3. What Do You Spend Most Of Your Money On?
Money can be a touchy topic for some people. However, the University of Liverpool’s Dr Michelle Tornquist said asking a date what they spend most money on may be quite important. She said, “research indicates that people who feel that their partner spends money foolishly are 45 percent more likely to divorce. Plus, if someone responds to this question with a lengthy story about sports cars and designer clothes, it could be a red flag if your values about money are very different.”
4. Who Would Be Your Dream Dinner Guest?
This question seems like a bit of fun and is a well-loved dating app opening line but experts have suggested it also helps people open up. Psychologist Arther Aron and colleagues designed thirty six questions, split into three groups ranging from relatively casual to quite deep that they believed would speed up the process of intimacy between a couple. By starting with questions about your likes and interests they argued it can lead to deeper conversations.
5. If You Lost Your Wallet Do You Think It Would Be Returned?
The experts at University of Liverpool argue that this question helps establish levels of openness, trust, and optimism. Dr Michelle Tornquist said, “we devised this question because there’s no factually correct answer, it depends on how the individual asked perceives the world. But, if someone has good faith a lost wallet will be returned, they may be a more trusting and open-minded individual.”
6. What Was Your Last Holiday?
If you like going away, exploring, and seeing a new part of the world then dating someone who wants to do it with you is kind of important. Dr Robinson said, "studies show that not only do people prefer a partner who’s open to new experiences, but couples who are more adventurous also report higher levels of relationship satisfaction."
7. What Is The Most Embarrassing Thing That Has Happened To You?
Sharing interests, funny stories, and basic information can be incredibly easy on date. Being vulnerable isn't so simple. Psychologist Arthur Anon and his colleagues suggested that starting with light questions and moving on to sharing moments of vulnerability like when you last cried, were embarrassed, what you like about the person sat opposite you, and what you think is too serious to be joked about can actually build a stronger, lasting connection.
Speaking about the eharmony research Dr. Eric Robinson said, “we focused on concrete questions. These centre on a very specific opinion or moment in a person’s life that can help to cut through impression management; by asking specifically about what a person did last weekend, rather than what they say they like to do at the weekends, we get a picture of a person that isn’t tainted by how they would like to look – a more real version of themselves so to speak." He continued:
"For singles that are looking for deeper level commitment, we hope these first date questions act as a useful conversation tool.”