7 Ways To Know If Your Chemistry With Your Partner Will Last
Let's say you've been in a relationship for a while now. It might feel as though it's getting a bit stale or boring, as time passes. Yet, there are a few ways to know if your chemistry will last, and if so, you'll likely still feel connected to your partner, long-term. What's more, if chemistry is fading, there are a few fun ways to re-establish that spark and intimacy, so it's not a lost cause. Plus, here's a tip: If you sync up sexually, as in you and your SO make time for sex and enjoy kissing each other, then you'll likely be able to maintain that compatibility, as well.
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on feeling happy and fulfilled in their relationships, and when it comes to romantic partnerships, there's a need to feel strong and on the same page, both emotionally and sexually. Yet, often times that sexually part can get a little sparse, if you're in a distant relationship or have been dating for a really long time (and there's not much left to the imagination or much spontaneity on a regular basis). Plus, add in living together, and it could be even worse. However, there are little clues that you'll make it over these challenges and still feel super compatible and invested in the relationship. Here are 7 ways to know that you'll remain physically connected way into the future.
1. You Communicate Well
While sexual chemistry involves being intimate, the only way to really maintain that aspect is to have emotional chemistry, too. Communication can really dictate how well you and your partner can connect emotionally and overcome things together, so "if you are on the same wave length about communication," you're likely to have a long-lasting relationship, says Vikki Ziegler, a renowned divorce attorney, relationship expert, author of The Pre-Marital Planner, and star of BRAVO TV's Untying the Knot, over email with Bustle.
2. You Can Sit In Silence & Be OK
If you can sit in silence and still feel OK, without there being any awkwardness or resentment, it means your relationship is strong enough where chemistry will last (and will come out in those non-silent times that require it), says Ziegler. It should feel natural, rather than off-putting for a successful partnership.
3. You Respect Each Other
If you and your partner respect each other, where you're able to obey boundaries and you think about the other before making drastic decisions, it shows that you're a strong, united force that can withstand anything, says Ziegler. Yet, if you can't respect each other and don't consider the other person as a powerful force in your life, you'll likely to lose that chemistry.
4. You Make Time For Sex & Touching
Life gets busy, and if you've been dating a while, that might might start to fizzle. Yet, if you make time for sex, physical and emotinoal chemistry will persist, says Michelle Puster, owner of Katy Couples & Wellness Counseling, over email with Bustle. "Make sex and intimacy a priority. Sex may not always be on the table but you can more easily make the effort to sit near each other. Touch when you pass by. A playful touch will go a long way to your partner feeling desired and wanted," says Puster.
5. You Show You Love Your Partner
Little actions can go a long way in expressing your love and bringing you both closer. "Make your partner feel loved. Ask yourself the tough question, 'Do I make sure my partner feels loved by me?' There may be good reason for withdrawing and not demonstrating the level of affection you once did," says Puster. Tune in and address what might be going on in your head.
6. You Both Express What You Want
Be bold, self-aware, and expressive, and have your partner do the same. If you and your partner are clear in what's going on and what "chemistry" you need more of in the relationship, that directness could be helpful in keeping the magic alive longer, says Puster. Plus, it can then shift and change, where necessary, to satisfy both of you, long-term.
7. Your Partner Makes You Laugh
Laughter can make for some great chemistry (and some lighthearted fun, of course.) "Chemistry can peter out quickly, but if your partner makes you laugh, or you do other chores together and adore one another OUSIDE of the bedroom as well as inside, those are clues that your partner and your passion will not fizzle out," says celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, Bonnie Winston, over email with Bustle.
If you have any of these habits and behaviors in your personal relationship, you're in luck. There's tons of promise that you and your SO will stay happy and intimate for years to come. (Which is what everyone wants, right?)