A Year-End 'Game Of Thrones' Marathon Is Just What You Need This Holiday Season
If you get through Christmas without a full on tears, swearing, and screaming match over the remote control, I congratulate you. If you make it to the day after while keeping the peace, maybe fate is telling you something: namely, that you should embrace HBO's year-end Game of Thrones marathon. If your family is supremely chill about you dominating the television, then know this. The channel is planning to screen one season a day from December 26 all the way up to New Year's Eve.
So if you, your boyfriend, or your dog has never seen the show, this is the moment to get up to speed so you can drop "Khaleesi will totally end up ruling the whole thing" and "Sansa Stark's going evil in Season 7" into conversation like you've been geeking over Westeros for years. The obvious issue with this whole terrifying plan of HBO's is that, well, aside from commercial breaks, it doesn't really leave a whole lot of time for eating, drinking, and doing the opposite of those things. So it's time to strategize: which episodes should you plan your main meal and sustenance and rehydration for? Which ones, in the grand scheme of things, maybe don't matter as much as the others? Let's do this.
December 26: Season 1, Episode 2 "The Kingsroad"
Go chill and have a long, filling breakfast/early lunch after the first episode, because the second episode, while totally fine, focuses a lot on characters getting from one place to another.
December 27: Season 2, Episode 8 "The Prince Of Winterfell"
It's nearing the end of the day and you're starving. Fair enough: line up dinner for this episode. While this episode is perfectly fine, there's a lot of talking and getting characters in place (geographically and emotionally) for where they need to be for the big finale.
December 28: Season 3, Episode 10 "Mhysa"
I know it makes no sense to schedule a break for the last episode of the season, but believe me, you can miss this one. There was Khaleesi, channeling the same self-satisfaction as your college roommate who spent her summer building schools in Ghana (see above, basically how your roommate now sees herself), and there was something in a box that's going to put you off your food, maybe forever.
December 29: Season 4, Episode 3, "Breaker Of Chains"
In a similar spirit to the last episode to skip, sometimes you don't need to miss an episode because it's a little uneventful, but because it makes you deeply queasy. There's a lot of violence and ladies being preyed on in a row in this one. This close to New Year's, I wouldn't blame you for taking a long bathroom break during this horror fest.
December 30: Season 5, Episode 6, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken”
Easy-peasy. Despite the Emmy nod, this episode is perfect for your snacking and smartphone-checking break. Aside from a weird fight sequence and the relocation of Jamie Lannister to Dorne, you won't miss much that you can't catch up on in the next episode's recap.
December 31: Season 6, Episode 4, "Book of the Stranger"
I have a heart of stone which is why this reunion-heavy episode cuts no ice with me. Skip the episode in favor of a well-deserved lunch. You're at the finish line.
You've done it. You watched all of Game Of Thrones without passing out from trauma/lack of food and water. Pat yourself on the back and then head to the library. With Season 7 coming up in summer 2017, you've now got ample amounts of time to fuel your new passion by reading the series of books Game Of Thrones was based on, A Song Of Ice And Fire.