This Wine Advent Calendar Will Make 2017 Your Merriest & Brightest Christmas Yet

by Megan Grant

Forget what you know about advent calendars, because there's a whole new way to count down to the holidays. Aldi is coming out with a wine advent calendar, and you know what that means: 'tis the season to get tipsy. There's one major glitch in our plan to have a very wine-filled holiday, though: the calendar will only be sold in the UK. You lucky ducks.

We'll have to settle for living vicariously through them, then. The calendar is enough to bring a tear to any wino's eye, filled with 24 mini bottles of various wines, including reds, whites, and rosés. 24! If you do a little wine mental math, you'll notice this is the same as six full bottles of vino. What better way to count down to Christmas? You get 24 days of delicious wine, and on the 25th, you get to vomit.


The calendar will be available for purchase starting Nov. 1 at the bargain price of £49.99, which is about $67. Sixty-seven dollars for the equivalent of six bottles of wine? I'll take it! I don't know about you, but it won't be visions of sugarplums dancing through my head this holiday season. Have a look at this beauty.

I'm dreaming of a wine Christmas...

Fortunately, wine calendars are not exactly new, and you can indeed find other variations on the internets. Just take a gander at this wooden advent calendar on Etsy that can hold beer or wine, or basically anything that comes in a bottle of the right size.

Beautiful. Every single one of you.

Then there's Vinebox, who has the Twelve Nights of Wine. Okay. Fine. It's not "technically" a "calendar." Now's not the time to get picky.

People are certainly catching on to alcohol-themed advent calendars. There was even once a Kickstarter campaign created by a team called the Thirst Amendment (heh) for their 12 Beers of Christmas. A flattened box would come to you in the mail, which you would then pop open and fill with 12 bottles of anything, so you could drink your way to the holidays. Ultimately, their funding wasn't successful, but I can't for the life of me understand why.

The Aldi wine advent calendar is the best of every world. Not only does it help you keep track of how many shopping days you have left, but it already comes with the vino — meaning all you have to do is crack open a bottle and kick back. Forget leaving the house when it's dark and cold; you're set until 2018, my friend.

Our love of wine knows no limits. It wasn't long ago that word arrived to the states of a 24-hour wine fountain in Italy, which promptly had all of us planning our future trip to Europe. We were even game to spring for first class plane tickets when we heard the fountain is free. That's how you vacation, folks.

For some of us, a daily dose of vino is mandatory. There are even people who claim that wine is the secret to a long life. Millennials must be taking this to heart. We drink so much wine — 42 percent of all wine in the U.S. in 2015, according to the Wine Market Council — that we're changing the way it's bought and sold, with a shift toward wine delivery and apps, and more convenient ways to drink it, like from a can. We take our wine very seriously.

The Aldi advent wine calendar is a work of art and a real dream come true — the perfect gift for loved ones, neighbors, or... just... you know... yourself. Because you deserve it. As always, drink responsibly.