All The Weird Things Derek Puts In His Cocktail Glass On 'The Good Place'

Jason Mantzoukas as Derek in 'The Good Place'
Screenshot courtesy of NBC

Since Janet created him all the way back in Season 2, The Good Place's Derek Hoffstetler has come a long way. Initially, he was just supposed to be a rebound to help her get over Jason, but it quickly became clear that was a half-baked plan — not only because it didn't work, but because Derek was, uh, not exactly fully formed. His vocabulary was limited to variations of his own name, and unfortunately for Janet, he had wind chimes instead of a penis.

However, after Eleanor sent Derek to stay with Mindy St. Claire and she rebooted him half a million times, he evolved into a smart, sophisticated, tux-wearing Derek 2.0. The next time Team Cockroach saw him, he was strolling onto the porch reciting Edgar Allen Poe, proud to announce he now has a "resplendent," almost fully grown penis.

Still, Derek is essentially cosplaying as what he thinks human men are like, similar to Vincent Adultman from BoJack Horseman. Which means that, inevitably, old Derek comes out from time to time. Not only does he still love to use his name as a stand-in for other words, but he's spent Season 4 putting increasingly weird things in his martini glass. Here are all nine so far.


A Regular Martini

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Season 3, Episode 11. When Eleanor and co. are first reunited with Derek, he just has a regular martini — which is pretty weird, considering who he was when they last saw him.


Just 50 Olives

Season 3, Episode 11. Later, Derek offers everyone what he calls a "medium snack," saying, "I myself will be having another classy martini." This one is comprised solely of olives, which he messily tosses back.


One Solitary Lemon

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Season 3, Episode 11. Will he chew it? Swallow it? Peel it? Just gaze at it?



Season 4, Episode 1. It's unclear how Derek is going to consume this gherkin cocktail, but the way he hugs Janet with one arm while grasping his martini glass in the other somehow inspires confidence.


A Very Large Onion

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Season 4, Episode 1. The two men vying for Janet's affections come head-to-head at the neighborhood's welcome party, but Derek's promise to destroy Jason is undercut by the large white onion he's holding. He proceeds to bite into the vegetable, leaving shards from the glass protruding out of his mouth.


An Entire Glass Of Maraschino Cherries

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Season 4, Episode 1. Just before an increasingly fed-up Jason decides to hit Derek's kill switch, he shows up to plead for his life with a glass filled to the brim with maraschino cherries.



Screenshot courtesy of NBC

Season 4, Episode 4. After rebooting, Derek pops back up in the Medium Place. He's now upgraded to an all-white tux, and a champagne flute in place of his martini glass — except it's filled with soap bubbles, not champagne bubbles.


Scrabble Letters

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Season 4, Episode 5. When Derek tells Eleanor that he wants to help run the neighborhood, she retorts that she'd, "feel a lot more confident if [he] weren't holding a champagne glass full of Scrabble letters." He responds by sniffing the board game pieces like an expensive wine.



Screenshot courtesy of NBC

Season 4, Episode 5. After Janet is captured by the Bad Place, Derek's left in charge of the neighborhood. However, he's not up to the challenge and is soon stumbling around with a champagne glass filled with sprinkles as he frantically exclaims, "Well, it turns out being a single father to 300 kids is not that easy, Eleanor!"

If things continue down that path, his champagne glass may next be filled with his own tears.