It's not always obvious when someone's an emotionally unavailable partner — because their emotions may not even be available to them. So, it's possible you yourself are one without even knowing it. But if you learn how an emotionally available partner behaves, you can figure out if this sounds like you or not, and if it does, you can work on getting more in touch with your emotions and sharing them with others.
Being emotionally unavailable doesn't always look the way you'd imagine it. An emotionally unavailable person may show certain emotions but not others. Or, they may be very talkative but still fail to connect with their partners. That's another reason we may not see the signs in ourselves right away.
Everyone is emotionally unavailable occasionally, practicing psychologist and Harvard lecturer Holly Parker, PhD, author of If We're Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?, tells Bustle. So, if you only see these signs in yourself sometimes, that doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is unhealthy. There's only a problem if you notice them habitually. Still, working on getting closer to your partner is usually worthwhile, even if the feelings of disconnect are few and far between.
Here are some signs you could be emotionally unavailable, even if it doesn't seem like it on the surface.