Bryan's Kissing Style On 'The Bachelorette' Is Terrible TV, But Great For Rachel
Paul Hebert/ABC

I’ve watched countless hours of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and I’ve put up with plenty in that time — silly drama, cheesy limo arrivals, and more sparkling gowns than you can shake a stick at. I can get over all of that. But there’s one thing in watching 30 seasons of this show that I still have a hard time with — the kissing noises. I don’t know whether the people on The Bachelor/ette are amazingly sloppy kissers or the microphones pick up, uh, every noise in a 10-mile radius, but it’s bad. It’s not cute. And one of the key offenders this season is Rachel's fave chiropractor. Bryan’s Bachelorette kissing is bad for reality television, but at least Rachel sure likes it.

Bryan and Rachel have a sizzling physical chemistry (you can almost see it when they’re standing next to each other), and they do a lot of making out. And by a lot, I mean it’s mostly kissing and a little bit of talking. But the saliva — ugh. The noises! It’s so… just wet. Bryan is a wet kisser. Open mouth and wet. He’s not pecking for the cameras. He’s going all in because he is so into Rachel, and while that’s great for Rachel and Bryan, it’s not great for everyone watching at home. It’s not great for anyone with ears and who is viciously triggered by wet, sloshing noises (aka me).

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I’m down with your passion, but I don’t necessarily want to feel like I’m in it. And, I'm not alone.

The last time I had this visceral a reaction to a Bachelor/ette season was Nick Viall’s season. The season was 48 percent kissing, 32 percent Nick crying, and 20 percent dates. I’m lucky I even made it back to see this season of The Bachelorette. But, I guess, who am I to judge? Bryan and Rachel are super into each other, and their kisses prove it (even if they gross me the eff out). Bryan is putting Rachel's pleasure above his own reality TV reputation, and you've got to hand it to him for that.