Archie May Be Seduced Again On 'Riverdale'

Diyah Pera/The CW

Polly may have chosen the Blossom family over her own on Riverdale, but that's not even the least surprising behavior coming out of Thorn Hill. In the promo for next week's episode, Cheryl kissed Archie on Riverdale, and I'm finally starting to get exhausted by his appeal in this town. Can we give this dude a break, already?

The promo showed Cheryl asking Archie to be her date to a Blossom family ritual, in which something or someone is almost definitely going to be sacrificed, before the locking of lips. Clearly this relationship is not going to last, or even exist in the first place. Cheryl and Archie are no Molly and Arthur Weasley — though considering the number of pop culture references on this show, I bet I won't be the only one to make that comparison. Cheryl Blossom doesn't do anything without a hidden motive. What's her end game here? Can we ignore the fact that, since parallels between Archie and Jason Blossom abound, there's an added creep factor here? I certainly can't.

I don't particularly want to think that this is a way for Cheryl to dig a Veronica or Betty. Cheryl has nothing against Val, Archie's current girlfriend. Can't we let Archie and Val be great? I don't even want to bring Ms. Grundy into this, but it would be chill if Riverdale could allow Archie to be pursued by one or two women at a time, not five.

Maybe it has to do with the Riverdale parent drama. Maybe it's just a popularity ploy. Only dear Cheryl would think that something that "honors the Blossom family bloodline" could ever be romantic. For her sake, I'm interested to see where this goes, though I think we'd all prefer it if everyone just left Archie Andrews alone.