Cookie wants in on Leviticus, Lucious’ club in Las Vegas, but let’s just say it’s not going to come easy. Lucious will always love Cookie, I think, but Juliana, Lucious’ old girlfriend and current business partner (and obsession, I think) has him in a tight grip. Cookie is making a play for Lucious’ livelihood, and Cookie’s plot against Lucious and Juliana on Empire is so Ocean’s Eleven, and it made me so happy.
Ocean’s Eleven is one of those movies that I’ll always watch when it’s on television, so imagine my delight when Cookie starts (or should I say, finishes) assembling her rag-tag group of crazy misfits. Juliana gets Thirsty fired in the May 17 episode, and Cookie is all, “Oh, honey, come on over.” Cookie and her squad — which includes Thirsty, Becky, Shine, Andre (for a minute), Porsha, and Cookie’s two sisters, Carol and Candace — decide to take down Juliana’s casino or club or whatever with friendly hijinks and a little bit of seduction. Becky’s chanting of “I am the safe and the safe is me” while trying to crack Juliana’s safe was everything I needed on television this year. Get Gabourey Sidibe an Emmy, okay? I don’t want to give too much away if you haven’t seen it yet (go watch it on demand or on DVR or something), but if Candace and her husband suddenly lose all of their money, they have a future in conning casino owners.
Though the heist is hilarious and so fun to watch (and that’s saying something, especially on a show that has like, no fun anymore), it doesn’t pan out the way that Cookie hoped. She wanted to get all of Juliana’s records so that she could bring them to the gaming commissioner (aka guest star Eva Longoria) and send Juliana away to jail, but instead, Eva took a big kickback from Andre in exchange for keeping quiet. But let’s look at the bright side — at least we know that Cookie and her crew can plan a heist and stick with it.