If you're someone who values texting in a relationship, it can be super frustrating to discover that the person you just started dating isn't into texting. Or, if you can't stand texting and your partner messages you all the time, is it bad if you'd rather wait to just call them at the end of the day? Communication is key in relationships, but should we really put any value into something as impersonal as texting? According to research published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, texting may be more revealing than you think. Because as researchers found, couples with similar texting habits do tend to be more satisfied with their relationship overall.
Psychologists from Pace University in New York conducted a survey of 205 people between the ages of 18 and 29-years-old who were in relationships at the time. Participants were asked questions about their texting behaviors from how often they initiate conversations to what the texts were usually about. Researchers also surveyed participants on their attachment styles and how content they were with their relationship.
If texting and staying in constant communication is equally important to both of you, texting can make you happier in your relationship. The survey found that couples who text frequently, initiate conversations at the same rate, and text just to say "hello," have higher levels of relationship satisfaction than those who don't, regardless of attachment style. "I believe this [survey] makes sense," couples and family therapist, Jessi Leader, MA, LAMFT, tells Bustle, "Partners should have explicit conversations about their thoughts and feelings." Texting just happens to be one simple way to do that.
But if you and your partner don't have similar texting habits, don't worry. This isn't an automatic relationship killer, Leader says. "Being able to acknowledge differences, yet negotiate what you want and value as a couple is important," she says. So here are some texting rules for couples to live by, according to experts: