Finding time for sex isn't always the easiest thing — between busy work schedules, social commitments, and maybe just being a bit lazy, it's easy to let things slip. But some people are taking a more organized approach to fitting in bedroom time with their partner — they're scheduling sex with their partner. A survey of 2,000 people from EdenFantasy, an adult toy website, looked into how we manage to fit sex into our lives, AskMen reports. And, for a surprising number of people, that meant scheduling it in. Sure, it might not sound like the sexiest thing in the world, but it actually can work. And the best part? It's really easy. Maybe you literally write it in your diary, maybe you just mention it to your partner and keep it mind. But it's all about having the reminder to prioritize it.
"Set a reminder," sex and relationship counselor Julie Jeske tells Bustle. "It sounds silly and not very 'sexy,' but the truth is, people are so busy that sex and pleasure can often fall off the radar... People really want sex and desire to be spontaneous, and often worry that scheduling something will take the passion or mystery out of it. However, we schedule anything else that is important to us — doctors visits, exercise, time with friends." So why not do it with sex?
The survey found out that more than half of Americans are scheduling sex. That's right, 52 percent of Americans are putting sex onto their weekly schedule which is, frankly, far more organized than I've ever been. But it makes total sense, because sex is something you really want to keep alive in your relationship.
"Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people," Lauren Brim, a sexual wellness coach and author of The New Rules of Sex, tells Bustle. "If our sexuality isn't being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life. Plus, sex is just too damn good for you to live your life without it!" So, if you feel like you're struggling to fit in some time in the bedroom, maybe it's time to add sex to your schedule.
The survey also looked at when we're having sex and how much sex we were able to fit in each week. See more of the survey findings below.
On Average, People Fit Sex In 9 Times A Month
The survey found that, on average, people have nine sessions per month, which is just over twice a week.
Although there were definitely extremes at either end of the spectrum — three per percent of those surveyed said they were able to rack up 30 sessions in a month (um, wow!) and 12 percent said that there weren't having any sex at all.
People Have Sex For 69 Minutes Each Week
Even though people are only having sex just over twice a week, it averages out to 69 minutes of sex per week and 108 times per year. Considering most people I know fit it in in under 15 minutes, that's some pretty impressive stuff.
People Like To Spice It Up
Thirty percent of people said they go lingerie shopping for date night, while 34 percent went so far as to book a hotel room. I'm assuming this wasn't true for every time they have sex, but still, people seem to be putting in effort.
Most People Want More Sex
Despite all of this effort, 60 percent of those surveyed still said they'd like to fit in more time for sex. So it's time to clear those schedules.
Scheduling in sex might not be spontaneous or romantic, but it gets the job done. Plus, you can spice things up in other ways once you're in bed. So if you're struggling to find time with your partner, don't be afraid to pencil it in.