Entertainment

Here's What's Leaving Netflix In May 2017 & It's A Really Random Bunch

When the last third of the month swings around, I always have to brace myself, because, as new arrivals on streaming services get announced, plenty get kicked out. As such, there's about to be a spring cleaning: there are several titles leaving Netflix in May 2017, enough to make a journalist's hand cramp up while rounding them up. And while it isn't nearly as devastating as April 2017's losses (R.I.P., Buffy), there are still some certain things I'm not ready to let go of.

To begin with, Netflix is for some horrible reason pulling the plug on Scrubs. This is an epic cruelty, and a hard hit for any of us who just need a post-modern, several season, universally-pleasing sitcom fix. That pretty much just leaves The Office, and, the way things are looking, The Office will probably get the axe in June.

Other than that and one or two movies I'm personally emotionally attached to (I already miss Grosse Pointe Blank), it isn't that bad. There are a lot of Smithsonian documentaries that are going to head out all at once, sure, and yet somehow I think we'll get by. But just so you're well informed, here is everything leaving Netflix next month.

1. '11 Blocks'

In which a man has to fight through a chaotic urban wasteland to save his girlfriend. (May 1)

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2. 'Alfie'

Jude Law's turn as the ultimate playboy who has to leave the party early is... well, leaving the party early. (May 1)

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3. 'Bang Bang!'

This is an Indian remake of Knight And Day, so feel free to turn to that if you don't catch it before it leaves. (May 1)

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4. 'Black Mamba: Kiss of Death'

Snake documentary. I endured a whole lot of "NOPE" to get this screenshot, but if you're into that kind of thing, well, then five points to Slytherin. (May 1)

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5. 'Cujo'

Stephen King's classic tale about the worst puppy of all time. He is certainly not a good boy. (May 1)

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6. 'Doomsdays'

The story of two friends getting a jump start on the apocalypse by vagabonding it up in the Catskills. (May 1)

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7. 'Fantastic Four'

This predates Marvel greatness by... a lot, but hey, Chris Evans is still there.(May 1)

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8. 'Ferngully 2: The Magical Rescue'

I'm going to safely guess that this isn't quite as magical as the original Ferngully, which I also plan to never watch. (May 1)

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9. 'Flicka: Country Pride'

Last call for all of you Horse Lovers. (May 1)

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10. 'Garfield's Fun Fest'

Admit it, you probably still have a soft spot for this lasagna-loving feline. (May 1)

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11. 'Invincible'

Mark Walberg and Elizabeth Banks star in this 1970s comeback story about the Philadelphia Eagles. (May 1)

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12. 'Jetsons: The Movie'

Meet George Jetson, his boy Elroy, daughter Judy, Jane his wife, and... whatever the hell these things are. (May 1)

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13. 'Jurassic Park' 1 — 3

To make a long story short, the first three Jurassic Parks are going extinct, so, if you need a raptor fix, the time to binge watch is now. (May 1)

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14. 'Paulie'

He doesn't want a cracker, he just wants to go home. (May 1)

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15. 'Samurai Headhunters'

Samurai documentary, one that pretty much follows the trajectory of a typical 16th century warrior. (May 1)

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16. 'Stephen King's Thinner'

A weight loss story gone terribly, terribly wrong. (May 1)

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17. 'Tales From The Darkside: The Movie'

Three tales of terror for the price of one. (May 1)

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18. 'The Doors'

Val Kilmer makes for an impressive Jim Morrison in this biopic about the iconic '60s band. (May 1)

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19. 'The Real Beauty And The Beast'

A documentary on Petrus Gonsalvus, the uber-hairy nobleman who inspired the Beast portion of Beauty and the Beast. (May 1)

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20. 'The Seven Dwarfs Of Auschwitz'

A documentary on the Ovitzs, seven performers turned prisoners. (May 1)

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21. 'The Sons Of Katie Elder'

Your typical John Wayne film about a band of brothers reuniting after their mother's funeral. (May 1)

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22. 'The Wedding Planner'

The ultimate rom-com match of J. Lo and Matthew McConaughey, a smitten duo who may or may not be thwarted by the fact that she's planning his wedding to another woman. (May 1)

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23. 'Things We Lost In The Fire'

A widow, and her husband's best friend, and his family decide to shack up and rebuild their shattered lives. (May 1)

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24. 'To Catch A Thief'

This Hitchcock classic, which marries Cary Grant with Grace Kelly as the former tries to hunt out a cat burglar. (May 1)

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25. 'Treblinka: Hitler's Killing Machine'

A documentary about... well, read the title, you get the gist. (May 1)

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26. 'Truly Strange'

A documentary series about totally strange things (they start strong, with the mystery of boobs). (May 1)

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27. 'Turf Wars: Lions And Hippos'

I never even knew that lions and hippos had it out for each other, but here you go. (May 1)

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28. 'Van Wilder: Freshmen Year'

The Ryan Reynolds-less prequel to the National Lampoon classic. (May 1)

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29. 'Venom Islands'

"Komodo Dragons Will Freaking Kill You: The Documentary." (May 1)

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30. 'World War II Spy School'

A documentary on (sigh) spy school in World War II. (May 1)

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31. 'Good Luck Charlie' Seasons 1-4

The entirety of this Disney Channel original series is setting sail soon. (May 2)

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32. 'Kickin' It' Seasons 1-3

This martial arts themed sitcom is kicking away from us soon, but that's probably OK if you're not a Gen Y tween. (May 2)

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33. 'Scrubs' Seasons 1-9

Cue sad piano music, we're calling it: Scrubs is leaving Netflix for a long, long time. (May 2)

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34. 'Amapola'

In which the titular babe has visions of the future and tries to tamper with its disappointments. (May 5)

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35. 'Flubber'

This little neon bit of your childhood is about to go ka-bloo-y.(May 5)

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36. 'Grosse Pointe Blank'

My heart is heavy: no longer will I be able to rewatch wordless conversation between freelance assassin John Cusack and the cutest baby of all time. (May 5)

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37. 'The Recruit'

It's Colin Ferrell and Al Pacino as CIA agents; you can't ignore that winning combination. (May 5)

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38. 'What About Bob?'

What about him? It's the last outing for this Bill Murray film. (May 5)

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39. 'American Dad' Season 7-10

They're just killing off seasons of this Seth MacFarlane-led cartoon, but, don't worry, there'll still be plenty left over. (May 7, 11, and 17)

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40. 'Bob's Burgers' Season 2

Meanwhile, you can breathe a small sigh of relief, because only Season 2 of Bob's Burgers is getting the axe. (May 7)

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41. 'Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown' Season 1-5

Anthony Bourdain takes you on a culinary world tour. (May 15)

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42. 'Step Up'

Basically the dance-intensive story of how the Tatums fell in love. (May 19)

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43. 'Graceland' Seasons 1-3

Just a short-lived series of a bunch of undercover agents/roomies. (May 26)

And there you have it, folks. Enjoy all of these, because it won't be long before they're gone.

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