Everyone works a little differently when it comes to treading the murky waters of socializing. It's not necessarily about whether you identify as an "introvert" or "extrovert." It's often more about your natural comfort zones when it comes to reading other people and understanding the world around you.
If you're acquainted with the
Myers-Briggs personality test, this may be a way to further introspect into your own habits and approach to situations. If you have an idea of what type you may be, you may also have wondered how to make friends based on your Myers-Briggs type. Humans are social creatures — all 16 types of us. Naturally, we all want to improve our weaknesses and make the most of our strengths! Myers-Briggs types can help with that.
The Myers-Briggs personality test is based on psychologist Carl Jung's theory of how humans use sensing, intuition, thinking, and feeling, and the order in which you use these can influence your approach to life in all ways. Whether you're more free spirited with making friends (like an ENFP), or if you're more strict and guarded with who you want to give you attention to (like an INTJ), there are always ways to leverage your strengths. Read on to find out how to be the best social butterfly you can be:
Have the wittiest Twitter/Tumblr presence. Sometimes it may be too intimidating to just randomly approach someone who may or may not be judging you. But the time for you to shine is when you can totally be yourself, no pressure from others' judgment.
Your infectious enthusiasm and thoughts are often hilariously showcased in cyberspace, so make the most of your personal profile. Write down your relatable observations or or funnily phrased complaints, and watch the friend crushes pile up. Your best jokes have always been the ones muttered under your breath, and on the Internet, you get a full megaphone for that.
Go on a group outing. You're good at making sure everyone's having fun and that no kid is left behind. As an ENFJ, you're able to use your keen intuition to pick up the "vibes" of what each person is feeling in the situation and what sort of flavor they add to the group. Your specialty as a leader is being able to rally the troops.
As an extroverted feeler, you really understand dynamics, so your keen understanding of human relationships can really bring people together. Your skill set comes out most in a group setting, and people will gravitate toward your natural warmth when it's fully on display.
Have a heart to heart. You're one of the best listeners of the Myers-Briggs types, so definitely embrace your approachability!
As an INFJ, your ability to use your intuition to zone in on what people are saying and attend to their general emotional needs is very valuable. You can be hospitable and philosophical in one go. Any person talking to you can feel
seen, and your thoughtfulness can be thoroughly appreciated by any type. Just introduce yourself. Your energy is contagious, and the people you know already love being around you because your type has such an ability to be unabashed in what you do. Your fearless attitude toward life inspires others to find their next adventure right in front of them, and you should take this same approach in becoming someone's new friend.
Most people need someone to remind them to relax and not take things too seriously. You're good at understanding this concept. You, in fact, embody it — so all you have to do is be yourself and let the good times roll!
Get involved with group activities. Whether it be participating in an improv class or joining a volleyball team, you're at your best when there's an established way for you to bond with others over having the same goal.
Like an ENFJ, you're very susceptible to group dynamics, but more analytical about them (it's that thinky and sensing brain of yours!). If you can see how everyone functions in striving to form a cohesive end result — whether it be pulling off a performance or winning a game — you can get your head in the right space to be your natural witty self. You just have to have yourself the right environment for you to feel useful, and after that your charm will naturally come out.
Form a study group/coworker's night out. You aren't always one for initiating hangouts outside of your business endeavors, but try merging work with play. To make new friends, you need an opportunity to learn more about the logical facts that govern your colleagues' lives — what kind of family life they have, what their hobbies are, what their college backgrounds are. Then, you'll be able to better understand their emotional needs too.
You may often be told you don't naturally get people, but if you have access to information about them (and a setting in which it's easier to get it), you'll be able to get around this blind spot. Your intuition is keen on understanding how that person functions on a deeper level, and usually the work environment may limit you from seeing all facets of a new friend's personality. But if you're in a relaxed, non-work-related environment, you may get the chance to use your skillful deductive reasoning to better connect with others.
Engage someone in an intellectual debate. Or chime in on a scientific discussion. You're often one of the better-read individuals in the room, but being able to make the information applicable to others may be your way to make friends. If you sense they can handle it, strike up some friendly banter about someone's cool idea. When you get amped up about a theory or philosophy, your natural enthusiasm will also show up.
Just make sure to qualify your good intentions. You may know them, but others may be intimidated by your sound logic. As long as you let people know you're only trying to have a friendly discussion, they'll think you're interesting yet approachable!
Ask people about their lives. Your superpower is you can find a way to be interested in anything, because you genuinely think the world around you is a curious puzzle. You love finding out new information for your extroverted intuition to make connections with, so treat a new friend like the most interesting person in the world. Chances are, you can find a way to really see them as that.
You're usually able to relate to just about anyone, but you'll need to make sure you get all the information first. The more you ask people about things from the mundane to the big picture, the more you'll also be able to access your deep appreciation for the human experience. From there, others will be intrigued by your intrigue. And that's the stuff friendship can be built on!
Help a new friend out with a favor. You're really good at meeting people's logical needs, and you're extremely humble and loyal to boot. In other words, you're a breath of fresh air for a lot of people out there because you put your money where your mouth is.
Take your hardworking nature to the best social heights by offering to help that person with moving into a new home, fixing their TV, or finding a way to put your gifts to good use. It's a bonding opportunity to ask others about their lives too, because what they need help with may also give you more information about what kind of person they are! Remember you have natural worth just by
existing, ISTJ, and that you have strengths others don't. Sometimes it's hard to feel that way, but let that sink into your logical brain — you are worthy of love. Throw a get together at your place. You're a great planner when it comes to fun group activities. You know how to make sure everyone has their sensory needs taken care of because you're attuned to the fact that people will get thirsty, hungry, or sad (depending on how much wine they've downed...) and you're prepared to help them out in any way you can.
As an ESFJ, you're attuned to group dynamics, but in an environment where you can control the comfort levels of the crew. When you can make others comfortable — which happens to be your specialty — you are also comfortable. That's truly an irreplaceable skill.
Organize the office party. You shine best in take-charge scenarios, but ones with constraints. If you're in a place with people you're familiar with, and get to control the sequence of events (is there a Secret Santa for the holiday party? Is there punch for the summer BBQ?), you'll feel in control and able to relax. That's when the dad jokes and bad puns can come in... and people can see that you also know how to relax.
ESTJs can be seen as the managers who are overly logical — blame your extroverted thinking — but if it's logical to have fun, you're definitely good at doing it and bringing it to others.
Send people memes. The Internet culture was practically invented by a smartie like you, and you love finding ways to encapsulate that. The meme trades you're on (be it Twitter, GroupMe, or Facebook groups) are always swimming with golden tidbits, and you're just dying to laugh at them with some other people.
Your extroverted intuition means you're highly attuned to the fact that
everyone can relate to some of these jokes, so you're going to want to spread them as far and wide as you can. And what better way to vet who belongs in your life by whether they can handle your memes? Chances are if they met you, they are already dying to hear from your totally witty and charming self. So fire away. Get creative. When you go pursue what you're passionate about, you'll find likeminded people who can help you be your best self. As a sensitive dreamer, you're the sort of person who loves showing off what you can do. The more you embrace who you really are, the more you'll attract the right people to support you into your sensory environment.
You often have people coming up to you complimenting your work, so now is not the time to stop creating. Let the friendships flow to you, because you'll surely attract them the more you focus on finding out who
you are. And others want to socialize with that sort of confident person, ya know! Go out on the town. You're not always a serious, take-charge type. Your extroverted thinking doesn't always run the show. You can be the biggest party animal in the room if you let your hair down, and people will gravitate toward you in non-serious, non-business mode.
You probably have some hidden dance moves you've been waiting for a logical reason to show off, and so get a whole bunch of would-be-friends together and go wild together — responsibly wild, at least. That's what dance floors are for!
Go outdoors on a trip. You love being with things as an extroverted sensor. Nature is a prime example of this. The sun on your back, wind in your sails — who can resist an ESTP on a mission to live life to the max in their sensory domain? Grab some buds and bond over the hikes and the parks and the ability to enjoy life together.
Your frolicking is why people love you. Don't forget that when you're overthinking the world and its meaning (per usual, you xSTx you).
Strike up conversations about music/current events that you see on social media. You're actually pretty good at talking about anything, because you can keep up with so much as an introverted sensor. If you put your mind to it, the talk will just flow.
Also trust that you're able to pick up others' feelings easily about topics, whether they're good or bad. This attuned emotional empathy will help you figure out what's off limits for probing and what's not. You have so much to offer others, that if you came out of your shell and put your opinions out there, everyone would run to their new ISFJ friend. For real.