If You Have A Toxic Relationship With Your Mother, These 11 Tips Can Help You Move Forward


While you may or may not have realized it at the time, growing up with a toxic mom is incredibly tough. And it can be even tougher since all the detrimental side effects have a way of sticking around long after you've moved out, and on with your life. In fact, the things she said or did can still impact you as an adult, and color how you see yourself and those around you.

Usually, these side effects occur because "toxic people do not respect your boundaries," Sheila Tucker, LAMFT, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist and owner of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling, tells Bustle. "They may compete with you, will likely criticize you, compare you with others, and make unreasonable demands." So if this sounds like your mom — a person who is supposed to love and nurture you, Tucker says — it only makes sense that you're still reeling all these years later.

There is good news, though, because no matter how toxic your mom was, there are plenty of things you can do to move on, and even speed up the process of recovering. It can take some time to sort through what happened and figure out what you need, but it's well worth the process. Here are some ways you can begin to move on, according to experts, if you grew up with a toxic mom.