What Women *Really* Think About Make-Up Sex

BDG Media, Inc.

In most relationships, disagreements are a fact of life. There's no getting around a fight now and then with your partner about love, money, lifestyle, or being on your phone too much at dinner, and make-up sex is often the perfect prescription. That said, not everyone is on board with a post-argument session. While some folks are 100 percent into solving hurt feelings with seven (or 45) minutes in heaven, others find it distasteful and downright exploitative.

According to a new study published in Evolutionary Psychological Science, men are more likely to respond positively to make-up sex, while women are more likely to respond positively to their partner "spending time with them, apologizing, and crying" after an argument. The study authors suggest this is because men are more likely to break up with a mate because of sexual inaccessibility, while women are more likely to break up with one because of emotional inaccessibility. But although these differences may be valid, it's important to note that they are based upon a very heterosexual model, and that the above-mentioned research only used 164 participants between the ages of 18 and 61 to come to such conclusions.

So how do women really feel about make-up sex? It's neither all good nor all bad, according to eight different women interviewed about sex after conflict.


Jessica, 32

"I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but four years into my relationship, make-up sex is basically the hottest sex I'm having. After an emotional argument, it's more likely to be raw and real."


Sam, 28

"I'm not naive enough to think an orgasm is the same as an apology, but at least it takes my mind off the issue for an hour or so."


Tess, 30

"Make-up sex is like a magical anger-be-gone elixir. One round and it's like, 'What were we arguing about again?!'"


Amanda, 26

"Anyone who would try to proposition me after a fight is not someone I want to be with. I think it's exploitative and borderline abusive to make a tense situation sexual."


Jane, 36

"Total avoidant behavior. It's the easy way out. Not a fan."


Cinda, 27

"There are some relationships that are built upon horizontal communication. In those cases, make-up sex is just better than even trying to talk it out."


Samira, 35

"Make-up sex saved my marriage. It forced us to connect when we would have likely been disconnecting instead."


Jackie, 33

"I prefer make-up masturbation. I focus on myself and feel so much better after being upset with my partner for whatever reason. Does that count as make-up sex?"

Yes, Jackie, it definitely does.

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