You may not have seen it yet if you were watching the Oscars last night, but there was a new episode of Last Week Tonight — and with all that has gone on this week, you're not going to want to miss it. The episodes pretty much all start with President Donald Trump now, unfortunately so, host John Oliver would say as "President Trump" are "two words that continue to sound unnatural together like 'walrus porn' or 'Tilda Swinton.'" But despite the bothersome verbiage, Oliver highlighted deportations under Trump, which are expected to grow under a new plan.
Trump's Department of Homeland Security released a plan that could end up deporting millions of undocumented immigrants, and even bring the National Guard in to help Immigration and Customs Enforcement do so. "That's upsetting even by Donald Trump's standards," Oliver said, "because normally when he wants to terrify an immigrant, he just texts Melania, 'Coming home early. Feeling horny.'" But it wasn't all jokes. Oliver also explained what the new plan means:
This new plan gives ICE agents much greater latitude in who they can pursue and deport, and it includes hiring 15,000 new border patrol and immigration officers, which might actually be difficult, as they've already had so much trouble finding qualified applicants there are currently around 2,000 vacancies. It seems immigration agent is the hardest job to fill right after personal assistant to Mariah Carey.
After a few more Carey jokes — "I want a limo for my dog and mirrors that make me look like it's 1997" — Oliver focused in on Trump's attempt at explaining the plan to the American people. "We're getting really bad dudes out of this country," Trump said Thursday at a meeting on manufacturing at the White House. "At a rate that nobody's ever seen before, and they're the bad ones. And it's a military operation."
Oliver wasn't too pleased with that phrasing. "OK, first please stop using the phrase 'bad dudes.' Please, I understand you're trying to ween yourself off 'bad hombres,' but it still feels like a lateral move," Oliver said. "But more importantly, what was that you said about a military operation. That is a casual way to mention you've deployed the armed forces."
Is that what Trump meant? Not according to "Emmy-award winning actress Melissa McCarthy" Sean Spicer. The White House press secretary said Trump meant to use "military" as an adjective. "It's happening with precision and in a manner in which it's being done very, very clearly," Spicer went on to explain (he also flattered Trump's use of the word).
But Oliver wasn't having it. "OK, Mel, but presidents really need to be precise with language. When you're the commander in chief, the term 'military operation' has consequences. It's not just some meaningless word you can throw around like 'consultant' or 'superfood,'" Oliver explained.
Trump may not have the words quite right, but his administration's actions allow for a huge surge in deportations — and that's not funny.
Image: Last Week Tonight/HBO.