Karamo Brown, one of the five stars of Netflix's Queer Eye, is known for helping the show's "heroes" (how The Fab Five describe the people they makeover) arrive at emotional breakthroughs. He has even been dubbed "Kar-Oprah" for his ability to make just about anyone cry. The man who gets others to open up so readily about their self-esteem, past traumas, complicated family dynamics, and more, writes about his own history in his new memoir, Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose Healing and Hope, out now. Bustle has an exclusive excerpt from the audiobook, read by Karamo Brown, below!
This article and audiobook excerpt contain information about drug abuse, suicide, and self-harm, which some may find triggering.
In Chapter 5, titled "Coming Clean," Brown details his experiences with substance abuse. He writes about what he feels is his "predisposition for some of this behavior" and reveals that his "addictive personality developed long before" he ever took a sip of alcohol. He also writes about his pre-pubescent addiction to internet porn, the first time he tried marijuana (after secretly stealing it from his father's bedside table), his college binge-drinking, his weekly ecstasy use in Los Angeles clubs, and his struggle with cocaine addiction.
In the audiobook excerpt below, Brown relates the moment he realized he was in the depths of drug addiction and how he finally found the strength, and courage, to ask for help.
"During that dark time, I felt like my life was over," Brown reads. "There was no point in existing. But I was given a second chance to accept support and to ask for help, and today I am living my dreams and am surrounded by love. Each day is a new day for me to continue to focus on my mental health." Listen in full below.
"I encourage anyone who is reading this to just remember that in those moments of darkness, there is hope, joy and sunlight on the other side of these dark feelings," Brown reads. "I beg you to take one step today, in this moment, and just ask for help from someone around you who you trust."
If you or someone you know is seeking help for substance use, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357).
If you or someone you know is considering self-harm or experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.