‘You’re The Worst’ Shows That Real Adults Can’t Rely On Their Parents For Validation

Byron Cohen/FXX

Every character on You’re The Worst has been set up to learn a different lesson. And in Season 3 of You're The Worst, all of the crew are still struggling. Edgar must learn to believe in himself and not get caught up in the Los Angeles crap. Jimmy must learn that smarmy is not a good look and that being genuine is what will get him actual relationships. Gretchen must learn how be her, just truly, solely, openly her, and happiness will follow. But Lindsay and Becca are learning the most important lesson of all — how to take responsibility for your life, and either fix it or move on from it. The sisters have to learn to love themselves, and in the Nov. 1 episode, "Dad-Not-Dad," they're getting closer.

Becca is married to “human circumcision” Vernon, and even though she has a baby and things look peachy, they’re broke, she hates Vernon, and she’s an alcoholic. Neat! A freshly divorced Lindsay is alone, but she has a job and is learning how to strike out in the world solo. She has no friends but Gretchen, and everyone else has just enabled her, but she’s trying? Following the news that their mother is to blame for their messed-up adult lives, Becca and Lindsay decide to find Lou Diamond-Phillips (yes, he's playing himself), affectionately known by Lindsay as “La Bamba dad” and here referred to as LDP. LDP dated Becca and Lindsay’s mother for three years, and he was the closest thing to a stable male figure that either of them had. He used to drive Becca to dressage, but he missed when she finally got her horse to moonwalk. When LDP and their mother broke up, LDP dumped Becca and Lindsay, too, and so the two visit LDP, now growing lemons for a living, it seems, and ask why they were abandoned. LDP says that their mother forbade him from contacting them.

Byron Cohen/FXX

This is all well and good, and eventually, Becca and Lindsay’s mom admits that she did it to “protect them.” Whatever, mom. The real point of the episode is that Becca and Lindsay are still looking for something that they’ll never find no matter how many trips they make to the Valley. Right now, Becca and Lindsay are searching for that missing piece, the answer that will fill the hole in their respective hearts and make them into full-fledged, happy adults. But they have as good a chance of finding that where they’re looking as LDP has getting juicy lemons from his tree. Becca and Lindsay can only find happiness if they find it in themselves.

Becca admitted that she married Vernon and had a baby so that their mother would think she had it all together, and Lindsay married Paul even though she had a gut feeling that he wasn’t right for her. Now, they look to LDP for answers that just won’t come. What Becca and Lindsay really have to do it not seek validation elsewhere — it comes from inside. Becca and Lindsay’s mom dated a different guy every few weeks, and she didn’t exactly give the girls a picture of a stable relationship. In her narcissism, she taught Becca and Lindsay to seek outward validation. That’s why she’s a nightmare, too.

If Becca and Lindsay are really going to be happy, they need to first be honest with themselves. How terrible are they? How great are they? The ugly stuff needs to be faced head-on. It’s akin to putting a rug over a big pile of garbage — you may invest in outward appearances, but everyone knows the trash is still hiding underneath. The best thing that Becca and Lindsay can do on You’re The Worst is turn to their mother and do the opposite of everything she ever taught them. The time for blame is over — they’re adults. Instead, Becca and Lindsay should be taking their lives into their own hands, and that starts with them.