Look, Michelle, Barack. We get it. You did what you could with the dumpster fire that was 2016, and you knew that your job post-Election Day was to bid a dignified goodbye to the carnage and GTFO. But we're in Week Four of Trump's administration, and I cannot bear to see another picture of you two frolicking joyfully in the goddamn Caribbean. Michelle, your Valentine's Day message to Barack has sent me over the edge.
On Valentine's Day, Michelle posted a photo of their sand-covered feet to Twitter: "Happy Valentine's Day to the love of my life and favorite island mate, @BarackObama," she wrote. Michelle and Barack, if you hadn't noticed, are having the time of their lives in the sunshine. They're hanging out with Richard Branson. They're kitesurfing. Barack is wearing a backwards cap, for God's sake.
And, well, good for them!!!!! They deserve it! What the Obamas have done for this country is a debt that can never be repaid! But seriously, you two. It's a friggin' mess over here. You are our role models, our moral compasses, our port in the storm. We need you!
This feels like a good time to quote John Oliver, who joked with Seth Meyers Monday night about how exhausted he was of seeing the Obamas on vacation (me too, John! Me too!).
I'll tell you who I would argue, at the moment, should kick back a little less. This might be controversial — I'm a little sick of seeing photos of President Obama on vacation with Richard Branson. Just tone it down with the kite-surfing pictures. I'm glad he's having a nice time — America is on fire.
Case in point.
Barack, of course, responded with an achingly adorable message of his own.
Nobody is denying that no one deserves a vacation more than the Obamas. That said, Twitter knows exactly how John Oliver feels.
Please Just Come Home
It Feels Like A Kick To The Face
We Need You
You're Our Spiritual Parents
You're Cute And All, But...
Crashing And Burning
This Beyoncé GIF Is All Of Us
Get The Oval Office Back
We'll Just Be Here, Crying In The Shower
What do we have to do to get your attention? Do we have to fly in there and draw "HELP US" on the sand to get you back?
SOS, OBAMAS. SOS.