Human puppies or, as I have been repeatedly asked to call them, children, are delightful, frustrating, hilarious little creatures who look upon the world with the steady, pure gaze of innocents. They are also tiny demons who may or may not have a direct line to the underworld. If you don’t believe that last part, just look at this Reddit thread where parents share the creepiest things their children have ever said to them.
Usually, kid’s mispronunciations are charming and funny, like calling cows “tows”, or telling everyone you lived in a condom because you thought it was short for “condominium”. But sometimes, their sweet, high-pitched voices can utter phrases so chilling, you find yourself lying awake at night and playing them over in your head, wondering if maybe their undeveloped little brains are attuned to vibrations ours are not.
Horror movies are chock-full of creepy kids: Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense, the twins in The Shining, that girl in The Exorcist. The people who make these movies know that there are few things as unsettling as a child, who is supposed to be pure and innocent, tapping into the evil forces of the world. It’s scary enough in movies, but absolutely terrifying when you encounter it in real life. Creepy kids make you ask yourself questions like, are ghosts real? Is reincarnation? If I hide under my covers, will the monsters go away?
We may never know the answers to any of those questions, but in the meantime, here are some stories of creepy things kids have said that can make even the most jaded skeptic wonder if everything really is as it seems.