Books

Which Guy From HP Would Make The Best V-Day Date?

by Julia Seales
Warner Bros

There were definitely some iconic Valentine’s Day moments in the Harry Potter series. After all, the characters were teenagers at a relatively small school, so there were plenty of opportunities for them to experience what Dumbledore so aptly called "love’s keen sting."

If you're a wizard, you may spend Valentine's Day in Hogsmeade, sipping tea and eating cakes at Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop, or downing Butterbeers at The Three Broomsticks. If you're a Muggle, you may spend the day exchanging Harry Potter-themed gifts and literary cards with your S.O. Either way, let's be real — there's probably at least one character from the Harry Potter series you wish you could spend the day with.

There are plenty of heartthrobs in the Harry Potter series, but there are also plenty of characters that you really, really wouldn’t want to meet up with for a Butterbeer. Sure, these characters are fictional, but let’s pretend for a moment that they are real. Given the choice of all the men in the Harry Potter universe to spend Valentine’s Day with, who would be the worst date — and who would be the best? Here’s a ranking of exactly who you would want to stroll into Madam Puddifoot’s with you, and who would be best to avoid.

1Voldemort

He doesn't have a nose, he doesn't know how to love, and he can't even hug properly. Oh, plus he's out to destroy everything good about the world. Not an ideal date.

2Peter Pettigrew

When you show up for your date, Voldemort is there and you realize you've been betrayed.

3Gilderoy Lockhart

Gilderoy Lockhart shows up with a gift in hand, but it's just a signed photo of himself.

4Percy Weasley

Percy Weasley treats you to a night so boring you wish you'd just stayed in instead.

5Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy seems like a brooding bad boy, but he spends the whole night complaining about how Hermione isn't that smart and Harry isn't that brave and how he's much purer. It gets old pretty fast.

6Severus Snape

Snape is capable of loving very deeply, but unfortunately he's terrible at showing it. He sits silently for most of the date, then calls you a Mudblood and leaves you with the bill.

7Alastor Moody

This date is weird but fine. Mostly you just can't beat the uneasy feeling that Moody isn't who he seems...

8Ron Weasley

Ron means well, but you soon discover he has the emotional range of a teaspoon.

9Newt Scamander

Newt Scamander's idea of a fun date involves possibly deadly animals. Plus, he gets so wrapped up in his fantastic beasts that he totally forgets about you.

10James Potter

James seems a bit arrogant at the start of the date, but in the end, he wins you over with an utterly unique and romantic evening.

11Oliver Wood

Oliver Wood takes you to the Quidditch pitch for practice, because there are no breaks. Not even for Valentine's Day.

12Harry Potter

As demonstrated by his disastrous date with Cho, Harry is not great at planning dates. He has a lot of chosen-one duties going on, and he's not great at reading a room. That being said, he takes you on a riveting — if slightly awkward — adventure.

13Dean Thomas

Dean didn't really understand Ginny, but he always tried to be supportive and cool. He is a perfectly adequate and dependable date and he walks you to your door at the end of the night.

14Sirius Black

Sirius Black devises a date that gets you in trouble with some authority or another, then you never hear from him again. Still, you'll never forget that night... and you'll never forget Sirius.

15Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin devises a date that should get you in trouble, but he's more responsible about it than Sirius, and takes full blame when you get caught. He also arrives to pick you up with a box of chocolate and flowers.

16Neville Longbottom

Neville Longbottom gifts you a bouquet of flowers that he grew himself.

17Lee Jordan

Lee Jordan takes you to the most anticipated Quidditch match of the year, and makes you laugh the whole time with his cheeky commentary.

18Fred And George Weasley

The Weasley Twins take you and your best friend on a double-date that involves skiving snackboxes, secret passageways, and fireworks.

19Viktor Krum

Viktor Krum is attentive and respectful, and he appreciates intelligence, authenticity, and individuality. You decide not to go out on a second date, but he still writes you lovely letters afterwards and cherishes your friendship forever. He is the ideal Valentine's Day date.