If you're worried about whether or not you're having "enough" sex, don't worry too much — everyone is different. It may be that you and your partner just don't have high sex drives and that's totally OK. What you do need to watch out for you is whether you and your partner are getting into a sex rut— that is, more sex than is normal by your own standard's not anyone else's.
"Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people," Lauren Brim, a sexual wellness coach and author of The New Rules of Sex, tells Bustle. "If our sexuality isn't being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life. Plus, sex is just too damn good for you to live your life without it!"
One of the best ways of getting around a sex rut is realizing that you don't need to be feeling like a Greek goddess every time you want to get down. You should never have sex that you're really not in the mood for — but feeling a little tired or lazy isn't a reason to skip a session. In fact, some sex positions work just as well when you're feeling lazy AF. Here's what you should try:
How To Do It: Lay away from your partner with your pelvis slightly above theirs. You may need to adjust to get the fit right, but some lube and lifting you upper leg should help.
Why It's Lazy: I mean, it's about as lazy as it gets. Plus it's got G-spot access and room for clit play, so it's all happening.
How To Do It: Great for straight or LGBT couples, one of you sits on the edge of a bed or couch, legs spread, while the other kneels on the floor.
Why It's Lazy: You're both super comfortable, so you can go on for hours. It's perfect for toys, fingers, oral — or a mixture of everything.
3. Seated Backband
How To Do It: Start sitting on top of your partner, then slowly lower down onto your elbows and back, using them to brace yourself. Go for a pillow under your back to make things more comfortable.
Why It's Lazy: For you, it's a breeze. Once you get into the right position you can enjoy the sexy view, clit access, and unusual angles. Your partner may find it more of a challenge.
3. Modified Doggy
How To Do It: Start with a pillow under your hips as you lay face down on the bed. If that feels awkward, you can always start in doggy style and then slowly lower down onto your elbows until you find the right angle. But when it works, you'll feel your G-spot.
Why It's Lazy: If doggy style and spooning had a baby, it would be this position. All of the deep penetration and raw sexiness, but way more comfy.
How To Do It: Your partner starts out cross-legged, then you just need to lower yourself on top of them, wrapping your legs and arms around. You may need lube to get the penetration right, but then you both can relax.
Why It's Lazy: A lot of work to get into, but then you're basically hug-sexing, a new term I made up for this position.
Sure, it's always great when you have a huge burst of energy and feel like you can take on the world — but we're not always going to be feeling at the top of our game. But a little laziness shouldn't stop you from getting down, so make sure to take advantage of sex positions that work when you feel lazy AF.
Check out the “Sex & Relationships” stream in the Bustle App for tips, tricks, and advice on friends, sex, dating, and everything in-between.