When it comes to being good in bed, we all have to start somewhere. Most of us aren't just amazing right off the bat — you have to learn what you like, what your partner likes, and quite frankly, just how things fit together sometimes. Now, ideally, you have a partner who's great at teaching you or learning with you and you can sort of figure it out together. But not everyone has this experience. Some people go through many years — and many sexual partners — without feeling like they have a grip on what's going on. And every time a friend asks me what she should do with her hands when she's the one top, I realize that I don't always have a grip either.
So what can you do? Is there a way you can help yourself be better in bed? I think there are a lot of positions that can help you on your way. They're the sex positions that help you learn what you like, help you learn how to get into trickier positions, figure out what your partner likes, and how to experiment. So if you're feeling like your skills could use a brush up, try these positions to become better in bed:
1. Weak In The Knees
How To Do It: Sometimes, you just need to take a seat. While your partner lies on their back, straddle their face. You can control the pressure or they can use their hands on your hips to guide you up and down.
Why It Will Make You Great: Learning what you like is important. This position really lets you focus on how your partner's tongue and fingers make you feel, plus you can experiment with different pressures. It'll also give you the confidence to just go for it and tell your partner what you're liking. They'll enjoy it, I promise.
2. X Marks The Spot
How To Do It: You get to lie back for this one. Lay on the edge of the bed with your legs resting on your partner's chest. Cross at the ankles or knees — whatever's comfortable — while they slowly enter you.
Why It Will Make You Great: You get to play around with tightness and it's a position where you can do that without getting all tangled up. It's also going to teach you how great lube can be. Oh, and it's a great position for playing with yourself— and they will love the view.
How To Do It: Straddle your partner and slowly lower yourself onto them. You can lean forward on your palms or lean slightly backward and use your hands to play with yourself.
Why It Will Make You Great: So many women are scared of this position, but they don't need to be. Once you master it you'll get such a big confidence boost — and confidence will make all of sex better.
4. In A Chair
How To Do It: While your partner sits in a chair, you face them and lower yourself on top of them. Then use your feet for traction so you can grind back and forth or bounce up and down.
Why It Will Make You Great: You get to experiment in different locations and this is one that you can try anywhere without being too intimidating.
5. Doggy With A Vibrator
How To Do It: It's a classic doggy position but with a vibrator twist. Either of you can hold it on your clit, but make sure you're getting what you want.
Why It Will Make You Great: Because your partner's in control of the thrusting and grinding, you can get a feel for their style and what they like, which always helps. And with the added twist of the vibrator, you get an empowerment boost and you learn which combination of penetration and vibration will get you there.
6. Three Legged Dog
How To Do It: Your partner stands facing you while you hike one leg over their hip, using lube to help them get inside of you. If it feels wobbly don't worry — you can use the wall for support.
Why It Will Make You Great: Learning how to have sex standing up is so helpful in the long run, because it makes you more confident and lets you have sex in the most unexpected of places. Get this position down and you'll be the best at quickies.
7. The Bridge
How To Do It: You can start in missionary or just lay on your back with your feet flat on the floor while your partner sits on their knees. Lift your butt up into a yoga or pilates bridge while they raise one to their knees.
Why It Will Make You Great In Bed: It's an amazing workout and it's also a more difficult position without being too challenging. You focus on eye contact and both of you get to enjoy the view while you get a handle on balancing in more complex positions.
Although the partner you're with is so important when it comes to what makes sex great, certain positions can help you became dynamite in the sack. Focus on ones that teach you what you like, what your partner likes, and slowly build your confidence in more complicated positions and you'll feel like a rock star before you know it.
Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle