There were a lot of things I expected to happen today, including and not limited to nearly slipping on frozen dog pee on the sidewalk, sitting next to a manspreader on the subway, and watching the slowly spiraling glorious raging dumpster fire that is 2017 slowly unfold. That being said, I did not expect to sign myself up for a Domino's pizza wedding registry during office hours, so life is still full of surprises! Particularly because up until five minutes ago, I was single AF, and now by the power invested in Domino's, I'm engaged to Golden Globe award-winning and Ridiculously Handsome Smile-having actor Oscar Isaac!
The legality of my bond to a man I've never physically met aside, Domino's latest promotion could not be more Valentine's Day appropriate — and yes, it is 100 percent real. If you register for yourself, or you find someone else's registry, all pizza gifts will arrive in the inbox of the recipient in the form of an eGift card. If you'd rather have something to give them in person, Domino's will also make a printable version of the gift card that you can put in an envelope and present the happy couple with at the wedding.
Or, if you're unrepentant, pizza-loving trash, you can do what I did, and make yourself a fake fiancé in the name of cheesy goodness. Here's how you too can semi-steal a celebrity's identity for the purposes of finagling free pizza from your loved ones!
Hit Up The Registry Site
It will lead you to this page, where you can put in all your deets. If you're a real couple, answer it honestly, so people can find you in the search function. If you're a fake, then ... join the club, y'all. (October 9 is fine, right? We're not rushing into anything?)
Pick Your Pizzas
Oscar and I opted from the "Married But Chill" option. Aren't we precious?? (DON'T LOOK ME IN THE EYES.)
No, YOU'RE going to die alone in a sea of Star Wars action figures and goldfish wrappers!! I digress.
Share It On Social Media
My restraining order is pending.
Anyway, if you and your one true bae — or one true Attractive Actor Whose Name You Hijacked For The Purposes Of This Article — are looking for a creative way to register this wedding season, Domino's has you covered. Sign up for your own registry here!