The Most Common Safe Words People Use During Sex
When it comes to choosing a safe word with your partner before engaging in rougher sex, BDSM, or other kinds of kink, there are a lot of different routes you can go. You can choose a word that basically means "Stop!", you can choose a word that's so unique in its pronunciation that you'll definitely know it when you hear it, or you can choose something that kills the mood instantly, like "Donald Trump." Well, at least according to a recent survey, that's what someone did.
A new survey from Lovehoney, a leading adult toy retailer, asked 1,280 people around the world about their go-to safe word. And some of the answers were... well, they were a little out there. “'Donald Trump’ was definitely one of the most shocking," Lovehoney’s Sexpert Coco Cameron tells Bustle. "Certainly an effective way to stop the playtime! The amount of safe words in the food category didn’t shock us, but the specificity was entertaining. From ‘Tofu’ to ‘Moldy Bread,’ none of the food groups were left out. We found from our survey that people are incredibly creative when coming up with safe words. Some words or phrases are ones we never would have thought of, but every couple has their preference and the more unique, the better!”
Those weren't the only weird ones on the list — "Kelly Clarkson" made the list, seemingly thanks to The 40-Year-Old Virgin. "Hippogryff" and "Hufflepuff" both made an appearance, probably from a couple of massive Harry Potter fans. My favorite on the list has to be a tie between "Dildo Baggins" and "Cool Runnings," because I can respect good art when I see it.
But not all of the choices were quite so radical. Here were the top 10 safe words, because apparently color and fruit are good ways to get someone's attention.
"Red" came in at number one, which isn't really a surprise, considering is was used during Fifty Shades Of Grey. Not only were colors a popular option generally, as you'll see, red also works well in the "traffic light" system. It means stop, after all.
Yep, 101 people said that "pineapple" was their safe word, bringing it in at number two. I guess it's distinctive enough as a word that there isn't going to be any confusion about what you're saying.
Dropping a bit in popularity, only 51 people said that they used "banana" as their safe word.
The color or the fruit? Either way, "orange" made it to number four.
Seventeen people use "peach" as a safe word, which I found surprising because in emoji language a peach definitely doesn't mean stop.
"Apple" seems like an incredibly unsexy word to me, which is maybe why it was so popular.
Usually associated with non-kinky sex, it looks like "vanilla" is also a really popular safe word.
Colors and fruit, that's all this list is, just colors and fruit.
Ten people use "blue" as their safe word, which was enough to get it into position number nine.
PLOT TWIST. After a whole list of colors and fruit, apparently nine people use "unicorn" for their safe word. Way to mix things up right at the final curtain, guys.
So that's the most popular list, but it doesn't mean you're limited to any of these when coming up with your own safe word. Go with something that works for you. In fact, there are some benefits to more creative options. "When you choose a more unique word or phrase such as 'mashed potato' or 'steam engine,’ it ensures there is no mistake between you and your partner about when it should be used and what it means," Cameron says. And may I offer up "Cool Runnings" or "Dildo Baggins" as totally acceptable options?
It's not just about safe words, there are other aspects of safe play you need to consider. "In addition to a safe word, many couples should agree on a safe action that you can do anytime say if you’ve got a ball gag in your mouth and you’re unable to verbalize," Cameron says. "For such instances, give yourself access to a jingling cat toy or a tennis ball. The bright colors and sounds will instantly alert your partner to how you’re feeling. Alternatively, you can ‘tap out’ like they do in wrestling.” There's a lot to think about, so figure out what works for you and stay safe.
There are a lot of different ways to engage in consensual BDSM and kink, just make sure you and your partner are on the same page. And when in doubt... Dildo Baggins.