Coming up with the best opening line on a dating app is never easy. You want to sound interesting but not too out there, you want to get to know them but not be too aggressive. I've always been a strong believer in asking a lot of questions and trying to get someone to open up that way. When you seem curious about people, they tend to really relax. But what kind of information are people willing to share with a total stranger?
On dating apps we tend to see a lot of "hey"s and "sup?"s at the beginning of a conversation, but it doesn't have to be that way. Since relaunching as a relationship app and moving away from a swiping model, popular app Hinge reports that only one in every 500 conversations starts with "hey". Thanks to the app's new model, which features Prompts on your profile, they've been five times more effective at getting conversations started — and at turning those conversations into dates.
Prompts are basically ideas to get the conversation going — little nuggets like "the next vacation I want to go on is..." or "my last meal would be... ". You finish the sentence and your potential date can learn a little about you. But there's still a huge range of choice for how you can start a conversation, whether you use a Prompt or not.
Hinge looked at its data to see how people started conversations and found something really interesting — conversation starters varied around the country — a lot. People in Dallas had a very different approach than those in New York. In fact, every city had their little quirk.
If you want to get an idea of go-to openers near you, here were the top conversation starters for different cities.
1New York City: "Go-To Karaoke Song"
There's a reason Hinge dubbed New Yorkers the "partiers" — their number one opener was talking about their go-to karaoke song. It's a fitting choice for the city that never sleeps but loves tiny box rooms filled with drinks and microphones. Oh and in case you were wondering, mine's "Total Eclipse of the Heart".
2Washington, D.C: "Worst Roommate Story"
The politicos and students of Washington D.C. go straight in for the gossip — their most common opener is asking about your worst roommate ever. As pretty much everyone has a horrible and hilarious bad roommate story, it's a strong choice.
3Boston: "My Childhood Crush"
I would never have pegged Beantown as being sentimental, but the people of Boston pull at the heart strings and ask about your childhood crush. Mine ended in a fight over the red pencil grip and tears and those wounds are still deep, so no, thank you. I'll be keeping those details to myself.
4Chicago: "Story About My Fake ID"
They don't mess around in Chicago. It's time for a fake ID story — which leaves out folks like me who never had one, because I've always looked as haggard as a mid-40s divorcee and no one has ever asked a question before giving me alcohol.
5San Francisco: "How My Parents Met"
Another nostalgic choice, the sunny West Coasters of San Francisco were most likely to ask about how your parents met or tell you how theirs got together.
6Los Angeles: "What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up"
This is a cute one — folks in Los Angeles opened by talking about their childhood ambitions. I would love the chance to explain that as a child I wanted to be a pediatrician but as an adult I realized I hate children and helping people.
7Dallas: "I'd Donate A Kidney For"
Dallas goes deep. They jump in with talking who they'd donate a kidney for. Considering my only answers are "Liza Minnelli" and "whoever invented mac and cheese", I'm pretty glad I don't live in Dallas.
Ice breakers can be hard, but anything that gets people to talk about themselves will do the trick. Whether it's serious or funny, it's all about getting the conversation going and seeing if there's a connection. So just go for it.
