35 Opening Dating App Messages That Aren't Boring
If you've ever used a dating app or site you're well aware that the generic "Hey!" or "Hey, how's it going?" openers don't always lead to the best conversations. Sure, they're an easy, simple, and harmless first line (especially considering the aggressive messages out there), but sometimes these first messages on dating apps just lead to a dead end. In 2015, Hinge did an experiment to find out which opening lines work where their copywriters and data analysts wrote up over 100 original openers. Then, 22 percent of Hinge users received various conversation-starters to choose from. The one that received the least amount of responses? “Hey.”
Similarly, in 2009 OkCupid analyzed over 500,000 first messages, looking at at keywords and phrases, discovering it's actually better to use no traditional salutation at all and jump right into chatting. So what should that conversation be about?
Even though space on your online dating profile is limited, there are ways to convey your personality, whether it's through a picture or a quote on your bio. Dating apps like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel make this a lot easier with icebreakers and questions to answers. Luckily, there are a ton of options out there to stand out with an original conversation starter, from asking about an interest to commenting on a picture of their cat to using emojis and GIFs.
"Leverage the uniqueness of the app, if possible," Drew Michaels, founder of Higher Level Dating and The Dating App Formula, tells Bustle. "For example, while it’s no longer the case, Coffee Meets Bagel used to give a canned question, inviting people who matched to answer (for example “What’s your favorite pizza topping?? Tell your match!”). What I would have my students do, in that case, is stand out by NOT doing it, and instead asking “Be honest, (name)… have you EVER used the Coffee Meets Bagel opener?? ;-P”. Gets a fun reply usually!"
Here are some real conversation starters that work for daters, because we're all better than a "hey!" opener.