Confession: writing about the
creepy products on Amazon is one of my favorite things to do. Why? Well, it was best-selling author H. M. Ward who coined the phrase, “Normal is overrated.” And these very weird products will prove to you why that's true.
There's variety in the weird, though. There are freaky but oddly cute items you would never have thought of buying — like this
Haeyo Mayo Hair Nutrition Pack that looks totally picnic-ready, or this Latte Art Milk Pore Pack that’s a face mask, not a drink.
Next, there’s the stuff that’s good for you but that you just really don’t want to think about, like
this toilet plunger that uses compressed air to blast out the clogs that just won’t budge, or the eyelid cleanser that promises it will get rid of bacteria and dermodex mites. (Dermodex mites? I. Can’t. Even.)
Finally, we have the category of items where you have to wonder how the person behind the item ever got the idea to come up with it. Yes, a
cat bed shaped like a banana is genius, but what makes you think, “OMG, this is totes what has been missing from my life?”
How can you
not love a story that combines all these things? I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
The Cleanser That Kills Bacteria And Mites — Yes, Mites
I can barely deal with the idea of bacteria in my eyes, but
mites? Ick. Thankfully, there's this foaming cleanser, formulated with 100 percent natural ingredients to put an end to all that nastiness. A blend of tea tree oil and other vegan and cruelty-free ingredients developed by a seasoned optometrist, it's tough on dirt and makeup — but soothing on your eyes and the delicate skin around them. It's also safe to use with eyelash extensions.
These Back Scratchers Look Like Tiny Monkey Hands But You'll Love Them
Why go for regular old back scratchers, when you could get
these models that look like extendable metallic monkey paws instead? The handle stretches from 8 inches out to nearly 2 feet to get to even the hardest-to-reach spots on your back, plus they have color-coded silicone-covered handles so you and your significant other (or roommate, or friend) can each have their own personal scratcher.
A Scrub That Looks Like Dirt To Leave Your Face Shiny And Clean
Bet you didn't look at your grill growing up and wonder if the coals would be beneficial to your skin — but charcoal is definitely having a moment on the beauty scene right now. Why? Because it
is beneficial for your skin. This 100 percent natural mask is made from activated charcoal infused with collagen and Dead Sea salts to absorb your skin's impurities and leave your complexion exfoliated and glowing. It's great for the body and the face, and proves effective against blackheads and acne — all while minimizing the appearance of pores.
This Kitchen Gadget Looks Like It's Oozing Garlic
Crafted from high-quality, food-grade materials,
this garlic press works incredibly efficiently, sloughing off a somewhat gnarly-looking pulverized remnant that's exactly what you need for just about any recipe calling for minced garlic. You can get through up to four cloves at a time with this gadget with one quick motion and without any kind of hand strain. It's also great for chopping small quantities of nuts.
A Weird But Wonderful Stamp For Quick, Precise Cat Eyes
Get the perfect cat eye every time with
this eyeliner stamp that basically does all of the work for you. It's waterproof and smudge-proof, and will literally take your eyeliner game to a whole new level. Here's what one reviewer had to say: "It was perfect...I can now do a cat eye EVERY DAY." It comes with two pens (one for each eye), and both are double-sided: one with the stamp, the other with a pen to line as you please.
The Device And Its App Spy On Your Coffee Supply So You Never Go Without
add-on to your capsule coffee maker is absolutely brilliant if you drink coffee every morning. You'll never run out of capsules again when you synch it to Amazon Dash: This smart container senses when you're running low on your linked coffee pods and reorders for you on Amazon. It's battery-powered and Wi-Fi enabled, so it can be placed anywhere in the kitchen and will keep your caffeine habit fueled seamlessly.
This Luxe Foot Massager Isn't A High-Tech Punishment Device
Relieve swelling and pain and get a relaxing massage at the end of the day with
this compression massager. Designed to stimulate circulation in the calves and in the feet, they're great for anyone with neuropathy, plantar fasciitis, lymphoma, or many other common leg and foot diseases — and of course, they're ideal for everyone who spends all day on their feet.
This Mayo Is Made To Rejuvenate Your Hair, Not Bind Your Egg Salad
I can remember hearing that people use mayo as a super-rich hair treatment, and now K-beauty kitsch masters TONYMOLY are here for it with
this hair mask that looks like the condiment. They're not playing with the ingredients, though: It's formulated with shea butter and other rich, nutritious ingredients to hydrate, de-frizz, and smooth dry hair, leaving it shiny and smelling like vanilla and macadamia nuts.
Every Hot Sauce Person Needs This Black Truffle Version
Blended from ripe red chili peppers and real black truffle,
this unique hot sauce is one for connoisseurs everywhere. Also crafted with organic agave nectar and cumin, it's completely preservative-free and boasts a smooth mouthfeel that will delight the foodie in you. The sleek, modern bottle is even capped off with a truffle-inspired top, because these folks thought of everything.
The Light That Looks Like A Little Mine And Is Loaded With Magnets So It Sticks Anywhere
Equipped with 11 neodymium rare Earth magnets at the end of each arm of its mine-shaped body,
this unique LED light provides 360-degree illumination for working in tight spaces — and attaches securely to any metal surface for hands-free operation. With its bright lights and four settings — including a red night-vision light — it's also great for use outside while camping or hiking, or as an emergency light for the car.
This Patented Device Turns Making Chunks Of Watermelon Into A Science
There's something almost soothing about quick and easy precision and a tool that works like it's supposed to, right? Enjoy
this gadget that automatically sections your watermelon into cubes the size of your choosing — anywhere between .5 and 2 centimeters. With rounded edges and blades that aren't sharp, and an easy-to-use mechanism, it's even kid-friendly — simply push into the melon and retract.
The Device Stand That Gives You A Hand So You Won't Need Yours
If you're looking for a
tablet stand that's also a conversation-starter, this one is hands down (or is that hands up?) — the choice for you. Suitable for either landscape or portrait viewing — and capable of holding your smartphone as well as your tablet — this cute and adjustable gadget gets two thumbs up from me. The two-pack means you can use one at home and in the office, or give one to a friend.
This Mask Looks Like King Arthur Goes To The Disco — But It Treats Acne
Featuring clinically-proven technology that uses UV-free LED lights to clear breakouts and allow skin to heal,
this mask enables users to access dermatologist-level treatments in the privacy of home. Gentle enough for even the most sensitive skin, just one 10-minute treatment a day can make a huge difference in the number and appearance of unwanted blemishes.
These Silicone Pot Holders Shaped Like Pasta Make Dinner Far From Boring
Made from thick, heat-resistant silicone,
these potholders aren't just fun with their cute oversized bow tie shape, but they provide serious protection while handling anything hot. The inside ridges provide a firm, slip-proof grip for confidence when handling pots and pans, and they can be cleaned in the dishwasher should they become soiled.
A Treat For Your Face That Looks Like Something From Your Favorite Specialty Coffee Shop
If this doesn't look like a dessert made from Nutella and marshmallow fluff, I don't know what does — but
this delicious-looking treat actually reduces unwanted oils and shrinks pores. Actually formulated from cacao clay, goat's milk, and marshmallow, this unique, nourishing mask leaves the complexion smooth and fresh-looking. One reviewer: "I have used this about four times already and I've got to say, it has a nice chocolatey smell and leaves my skin feeling pretty refreshed."
These Purple Arms Will Embrace Your Stemware So They're Safe In Your Dishwasher
I love using my nice stemware but hate washing by hand — especially late at night after a few (!) glasses of wine — but the dishwasher has never seemed safe. Now, though, there are
these silicone arms, designed to hold glassware upright and stable throughout the wash cycle so they stay where you put them. Flexible and heat-resistant, they're a wine glass' new best friend.
This Powerful Plunger Blasts Away Clogs
Send a blast of pressurized air in to beat back the toughest clogs — because
this drain buster uses a pump design to force air down any drain, whether that's the toilet, sink, shower, or tub. No harsh, potentially harmful chemicals are needed, just this tool and some old-fashioned elbow grease.
This Banana-Shaped Pet Bed Has Real A-Peel
Perfect for cats and kittens, rabbits, small dogs, and other pets under 10 pounds,
this banana-shaped pet bed is a cozy hideout for the smallest fur babies in the family. Designed with a lid, it offers pets who like the feel of a semi-private place to hang out in plush comfort. Check out the other fun designs that are available, too.
This Massager Is Not A Cylon Device From Battlestar Galactica But It Does Have Shiatsu Nodes
With powerful rotating nodes to work away every knot and kink,
this massage pillow delivers a deeply relaxing, healing shiatsu massage. Suitable for use anywhere on the body, this pillow also has an optional heat function for additional relief —and improves circulation and warm tired muscles. With an AC charger and a car adapter, this device is portable for use while traveling, too.
A Peeler That Looks Like A Bird — Because Why Not?
vegetable peeler is for the birds (ha). The blade is crafted from durable stainless steel, with a tip that can be used to remove eyes from potatoes or little bad spots from any produce. Plus, the bird's body is actually an ergonomically-designed, non-slip handle.
This Vacuum Attachment Gets Into All Those Little Nooks And Crannies
The dozens of tiny, straw-like tubes on
this vacuum add-on are the secret to its success: They're specialized to get right into the tiny nooks and crannies — like air vents, between sofa cushions, furniture crevices, electronics, drawers, and much more. This attachment comes with an adapter, and is suitable for most vacuums.
This Dish Unites You And Your Mac And Cheese So. Much. Faster.
If 20 minutes is just too long to wait for your favorite mac and cheese dinner,
this pan will cook it up in the microwave in just 5 minutes flat. This reusable pan is dishwasher-safe and BPA-free, and since the handles stay pleasantly cool to the touch, the dish is ready to go straight to the table. It's perfect for ramen, too.
The Honeycomb Pattern Of This Cushion Means You Could Sit On An Egg Without Breaking It
Engineered with a unique flexible honeycomb design,
this cushion provides optimal lumbar support — relieving pressure on your tailbone and alleviating pain from conditions like arthritis or sciatica. The design provides for superior air circulation so that the cushion always stays cool to the touch, and it comes with a washable cover that makes it perfect for everyday use. They're great for the office, the car, and those hard stadium seats.
A Genius Cereal Bowl Means Your Breakfast Never Gets Soggy
The ingenious design of
this cereal bowl features a patented spiral slide that allows the user to shovel just a bite or two of cereal at a time into the sectioned-off milk below — officially putting an end to soggy cereal once and for all. This BPA-free, microwave- and dishwasher-safe bowl is so cleverly crafted that it also has a built-in grip to make it easy to hold, and it's available in two sizes and three colors for your dining pleasure.
The Loch Ness Ladle Is What You Need To Make Soup Fun Again
How cute is
this ladle that bears a striking resemblance to a certain Scottish lake monster? Made from 100 percent food-safe nylon, Nessie has feet to stand on her own or on the bottom of your kettle. The extra-deep ladle bowl retrieves a good amount of soup without dripping, and she's dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning, too.
These Boxes Are Like Loud Hair Metal If Roaches And Rodents Are Your Grandpa
Emitting unpleasant noises that sound awful to bugs, rats, and other critters,
these pest repellers keep unwanted visitors from roaches to rodents away. This system's electromagnetic technology uses the wiring in your walls to steer away interlopers — so there's no need for hazardous chemicals or dangerous traps. It's safe for children and pets, too.
A Robot To Get All Those Tight Jars Open
Anyone with arthritis or hand strength deficiencies of any kind — or someone who just generally hates opening jars — will really enjoy
this robot jar opener. Suitable for opening most sizes, its unique push-button mechanism will open even the most tightly-closed, aggravating containers effortlessly. It's battery-powered, cordless, and lightweight, and without blades or electricity.
The Candle That Burns Down To An Oddly Elegant Skeleton
You've definitely seen a unicorn candle before — but what you
haven't seen before is one like this version that melts down to reveal the uniquely haunting and elegant skeleton of the magical beast underneath. This is Einar, the mystical Icelandic unicorn, with a burn time of approximately 16 hours before his aluminum skeleton is disrobed.
This Odd Stainless Steel Soap Removes Unwanted Cooking Odors
It's science that makes
this stainless steel soap work when your hands smell like garlic or fish: The sulfur molecules that create the odor in the smelly item bind to the stainless steel as you rub your hands on it, transferring them from your skin to the metal. One bar essentially lasts forever, and is simply a must for any avid cook's kitchen.
These Snails That Hold Your Tea Bag Are Just Plain Adorable
Made from high-quality silicone,
these multi-colored snails are so cute that even if you never drink tea, I think you should order some. If you do drink tea — well then, you probably need several sets of these mollusks to ensure that your cuppa comes out just right: They hang out astride the rim and make sure the string of the bag stays outside the cup, where it's supposed to.
A Cream Infused With Melatonin For A Good Night's Sleep
Melatonin tablets, sure. Melatonin gummies, sign me up. But now there's this new and interesting way to get your Zzzzs on with this
melatonin cream that you apply to your wrist. Melatonin has long been a secret of shift workers and world travelers, and it's a favorite of insomnia warriors everywhere. With this natural preparation, each pump measures out a dose of 3 milligrams, and it's specially formulated for superior absorption.
A Bar Tool To Help You Craft Layered Drinks
Amaze your friends with your bartending wizardry — thanks to
this cocktail tool that allows you to produce layered drinks with no muss or fuss. Even amateur mixologists can blend like the pros with this gadget that uses special engineering to slow down the flow of liquids and create layers based on their density. Those impressive-looking drinks are easy and fast to make with this bartender's helper.
The Cup That Has A Freeze Ray Built Right In
Simply freeze the inner core for at least 8 hours, and
this cup turns into the housewares equivalent of Killer Frost: It freezes anything it touches. Well, okay, not exactly — while the outer sleeve keeps your hands from getting cold, almost any kind of beverage poured into the inner core will freeze right before your eyes. Make shakes, slushies, margaritas and other adult drinks...the sky's the limit.
The Notebook Designed For People Who Always Get Their Best Ideas In The Shower
Don't forget the new law of thermodynamics that suddenly came to you in the shower — write it down on
this notepad that actually beads water so your notes will be safe. Totally recyclable, eco-friendly, and non-toxic, the notepad will cling to the side of your shower thanks to two strong suction cups. The included pencil comes with an additional suction cup pencil holder so your writing utensil will be close at hand as well.
This Sanitizer Uses UV Rays To Get Your Toothbrush Squeaky Clean
With a modernistic design like an oversized robin's egg and a shape that won't allow it to fall over,
this sanitizer's futuristic look is totally on par with its technology. It uses the same high-end UV system found in hospitals and water purification plants to obliterate germs from your toothbrush, and with bulbs that last for up to 8,000 hours, it will be on the job until well into the future.
The Inhalers That Deliver Focus And Energy On The Go
Crafted using only natural, safe, plant-based ingredients — including therapeutic-grade essential oils —
these inhalers may look like tubes of lip balm, but in reality, they pack a much more impactful punch. Using potent aromatherapy to provide a treatment that stimulates focus and energy, they're small enough to fit in your pocket or bag. It's the rejuvenating treatment that's available to you at any time, wherever you are.
These Simple Bands Use Acupressure To Relieve Nausea
Long a favorite of travelers and pregnant women,
these bands use the principles of acupressure to restore balance in the body and relieve nausea. The plastic piece in each band presses against the acupressure point on the inside of each wrist — because acupressure on this spot was found to reduce the incidence of nausea from 53 percent to 23 percent.
A Keyboard Cleaner With Multiple Attachments And Cleaning Gel For The Finer Messes In Life
I don't even want to think about how many ounces of toast crumbs I'd probably get out of my laptop keyboard with
this keyboard cleaner, much less the tiny particulate matter that would come back from a pass through with the gel that ships with this tool. Needless to say, it's gross to consider — but probably best to undertake the maintenance on these things yourself, before they quit and you're in for a hefty repair bill.
The Strength Trainer That's Also A Stress Ball
Build up your grip strength in any position or just plain release stress with
this unique strength trainer that can be molded into so many different positions. Made from stainless steel with an ergonomic non-slip grip, it targets trigger points in the hand to provide stress relief and is a tremendous therapeutic tool in physical therapy, arthritis rehabilitation, gaining relief from carpal tunnel syndrome, easing anxiety, and much, much more.
A Frozen Popsicle — Made Of Herbs, Of Course
Fill the top of this
handy gadget with the herbs of your choice — and then freeze it. 24 hours later (or a week, or a month) you'll have an easy way to grate some flavor into your cooking creations. It's perfect for anyone who doesn't use up all the fresh herbs they buy at the store or grow on their own. Bustle may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Bustle's editorial and sales departments.