The Harry Potter series is about a Muggle-born who discovers magical powers, gets accepted to a wizarding school, and spends the next seven years saving the day and defeating evil — and her name is Hermione Granger. Every true Potterhead knows that Hermione is the main character in Harry Potter, and this amazing meme currently going around the Internet proves it. The anonymous genius who created it reimagined the books from Hermione's perspective, and the titles are spot on.
If you'd never read J.K. Rowling's books, you might assume that the first in the series is about a boy called Harry Potter and something called a "sorcerer's stone" — but you'd be wrong. The reimagined Harry Potter title is much more accurate: Hermione Granger and that time I used the power of research and deductive reasoning to make sure Harry didn't die.
Hermione really was a saint for putting up with Harry and Ron and their general uselessness. I can forgive them for not reading Hogwarts: A History; I can totally relate to their lack of common sense at times. I wouldn't have been top of the class at Hogwarts either, it's cool. But I will never understand how it took them seven years to figure out this one simple lesson: Hermione is always right.
Here are all seven of the reimagined titles:
- Hermione Granger and that time I used the power of research and deductive reasoning to make sure Harry didn't die
- Hermione Granger and that time I figured shit out and literally ended up petrified for the cause and it took my friends weeks to figure out that I had the research on me.
- Hermione Granger and that time I was a Time Lord.
- Hermione Granger and that time I realized I was hot and smart and saved Harry’s ass with research. Again. All the time. Really, he would have died without me.
- Hermione Granger and that time Harry was too emo to actually do shit so I did shit in his name because I am the power behind the throne clearly also PS fought evil Death Eaters and won.
- Hermione Granger and that time I told Harry about the dangers of copying off somebody else’s work that wasn’t mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT.
- Hermione Granger and that time I let Harry decide where to go and what to do and we ended up wandering the forests of Dean for like five months before saving his ass at Hogwarts.
I vote we start a petition to get the books republished with their appropriate titles at once. I'm sure J.K. Rowling would agree that these capture the spirit of her series far better.