These Mike Pence “Disgraceful & Offensive” Jokes Are What You Need In Your Life Right Now
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Vice President Mike Pence accidentally gave the Internet the most perfect catch-all phrase while responding to a New York Times report that he was supposedly seeking to run for president in 2020. Denouncing claims he would run if Trump doesn't seek a second term, Pence called the report "disgraceful" in a statement posted on Twitter.

Per his statement, released on Twitter on Sunday, Pence said:

In the same vein as Taylor Swift's iconic request to be "excluded from the narrative" last summer, Pence's response that the article was "disgraceful and offensive to me, my family, and our entire team" makes for the perfect pearl-clutching, dramatic response to any slight inconvenience or major political allegation.  

Did your horoscope read you to filth? Someone leave you on read? Did you get #caught deep stalking your ex?  Just tell them, "This is disgraceful and offensive to me, my family, and our entire team."

When You Can't & Won't Tolerate Lactose

Make It Your New Email Signature

Shots Fired

The DVR History Is Fake News

Just Don't Say It With Your Mouth Full

Heteronormativity Is Both Laughable & Absurd

Don't Ask Me To @ Me

This Is Just The Couch's Attempt To Divide Us

Pants Are Laughable And Absurd

The American People Know I Use Paper Clips

Oh, Mon Dieu!

Fair Enough

While Danielle Rhoades Ha, a spokesperson for The New York Times said that the paper remains "confident in the accuracy of [their] reporting and will let the story speak for itself," Pence's denial might prove useful for anyone looking to dodge some less than flattering allegations of their own.