Applying for jobs can be such a pain in the keister. You can hardly remember what you ate for breakfast, let alone your employment history for the last 10 years, and you're always terrified someone is finally going to discover you used your mother as a reference. But for all of you currently on the job hunt, I have promising news. There's finally one position you will be thrilled to apply for: Chief Flamingo Officer at this Bahamian resort. Yes. Yes. You can become the CFO (nyuk nyuk) of Baha Mar, a heaven on earth complete with three hotels, a golf course, and a casino with a view of the ocean, according to their website. Yeah yeah, fantastic. Let's talk flamingos.
The job posting explains the CFO will work with the Avian Curator and other team members to manage their collection of flamingos and help run the BEACH Sanctuary smoothly (BEACH meaning the Baha Mar Ecological Aquatic Conservation Habitat, according to Bahamas.com). This person will care for and train the flamingos, and handle all matters of nutrition, habitat needs, breeding, cleaning, veterinary treatment, and literally everything else. Basically, you'll be the HBIC in the flamingo department. Oh, and this will be where you work.
Pretty sure this is a picture of me from the future.
Bahamas.com says the flamingo habitat will include 1,600 square feet of dry land, along with a separate freshwater pool that's another 1,600 square feet, meaning these flamingos will live better than most humans. Specifically, the breed of flamingos will be West Indian — the Bahamas' national bird.
Before you get excited about playing with flamingos and feeding them out of the palm of your hand in what looks like a scene from a Disney movie, hold that thought. Applicants should have a degree in zoology or a similar field. They'll need a minimum of five years of experience with exotic birds, and also with flamingos in particular. So that eliminates all but, like, probably two people in the world. I know, I know. You saved that bird that fell out of its nest that one time when you were 12 and nursed it back to health. It's a very touching story, but no. If this gorgeous resort is calling your name, they have plenty of other open positions — so get busy applying! You probably won't regret it. Apparently, the Bahamas is the place to be. According to a report from TourismToday, as of 2013, over 6 million people are traveling there each year. They must've heard about the flamingos...
Even if playing with flamingos in the Bahamas isn't likely in your future, there are tons of cool job opportunities around the world — you just have to know how to find them. There was that one time when an island on the Great Barrier Reef was looking for someone to handle simple tasks like feeding the fish, cleaning the pool, and bringing in the mail. The self-proclaimed "best job in the world" came with a hefty paycheck of $150,000 for six months of your life, plus your own private villa. The only catch? More than 34,000 people from over 200 countries applied. So, we all had a little competition for that one.
Then there was that time a Dublin vet clinic called Just Cats was seeking a professional cat cuddler, says HuffPost. The page on their site no longer works, so we clearly missed the boat; but you might still consider sending them your resume to keep on file, if this sounds like the purrfect opportunity for you.
See what I did there?
Here's to the never-ending hunt for the job of your dreams! Think outside the box, search for new adventures, and be careful when using your mother as a reference.