You Can Buy A Sleeping Bag That Turns You Into A Human Hot Pocket


The hottest location known to humankind is the inside of a Hot Pocket right after it has finished cooking in a microwave. Don't believe me? Make a Hot Pocket and report back. Even the most skilled of chefs struggle to perfectly nuke a Hot Pocket; it always comes out unevenly cooked. Yet, the Hot Pocket is a microwavable marvel sure to warm up even the coldest of days and act as a cheesy heating pad for your stomach. Now, a giant hot pocket can keep you warm on the outside, too. The Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag is a surefire way to to keep extra toasty during your next camping trip.

You're probably familiar with the concept of the blanket burrito. A blanket burrito is one of the most effective ways to keep warm during the winter. It involves positioning yourself on a flat surface, ideally one that is soft, and wrapping yourself in a layer of blankets really tightly. The end result is you acting as the ingredients in a burrito with your blanket-tortilla. It is a method of keeping warm that has stood the test of time.

But, thanks to the Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag, the blanket burrito just got an upgrade you didn't even realize it needed.

An exclusive offering from the website ThinkGeek, the Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag boasts a number of exceptional features. Per the product description on the ThinkGeek website, "This Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag will keep you warm and cozy. After the initial 2 minute period to reach maximum internal temperature, the integrated crisping sleeve allows for maximum warmth retention. Our custom MicroWaav insulation system ensures your extremities are always toasty while your core stays nice and cool. It's perfect for backpacking, camping, or couch surfing." But really, the reason you want this is simple: It is a giant Hot Pocket you can sleep in that won't leave you smelling like pepperoni.

A staple of convenient culinary Americana, Hot Pockets first hit the market in 1983. But the sandwich-turnover snacks have come a long way since the debut. Before becoming a dorm room staple, the Hot Pocket was, per Saveur, invented by Paul and David Merage, brothers who immigrated to the U.S. from Iran. With backgrounds in business and knowledge of the culinary world, the Merages noticed a gap in the market for convenient, almost instant dinner foods. In 1980, they debuted the Tastywich, a microwavable sandwich that retained exterior crispiness. A few years later, it evolved into the Hot Pocket, and hit the market. The rest is history.

Did the Merage brothers know when they created a microwavable bread-and-meat snack it would one day be used as inspiration for designing a sleeping bag? Probably not. But someone once said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so it can be assumed the team behind Hot Pockets would approve of this massive fabric one you can sleep in.

It was once merely a warm snack and is now a warm place to sleep. It's 2019, we become one with our favorite foods, now.