On Saturday, The New York Times style section profiled the president's oldest son and his quest to find his place within his famous family. The president's namesake is now leading the Trump Organization, but he had an unconventional path to the business world. And apparently, the best way to demonstrate his folksyish rise is by, uh, putting Donald Trump Jr. on a tree.
According to the profile, Trump is an avid outdoorsman who spent his childhood summers hunting and fishing with his maternal grandfather in what was then Czechoslovakia. And after graduating from the Wharton School of business, he went to tend bar in Aspen, Colorado. In essence, despite growing up in a Manhattan billionaire's penthouse, the eldest Trump child is a real man of the people. You know, because he's not just your average billionaire's son. He's a billionaire's son who owns firearms and once got arrested for public intoxication, just like you!
So how do you really drive your point home to Rustbelt voters that this guy is a real dude's dude? Like a dude that you could shoot animals and drink a beer with, a real man of the earth. Or a dude that like, maybe wouldn't have chosen to be born into wealth, but just, you know, was. Oh! I've got it: You stick him on a tree trunk and take a photo of it. That'll get it across, right?
Yeah. So that's the route The New York Times took. Majestically posing him on a tree trunk in the middle of his family's estate in Bedford, New York. It's real. There it is, right before your eyes. And no, it doesn't make any sense to me, either.
Twitter, of course, had a field day with this photo, which I think makes him look like an untested lumberjack in bad jeans. The good folks on Twitter had some other ideas, too.
I, for one, am looking to Donald Trump Jr.'s first solo country album pic.twitter.com/0nd6LeEavO— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) March 18, 2017
Donald Trump Jr. looks like a scarecrow that a bank leaves on a foreclosed farm. pic.twitter.com/1Udvbc02dQ— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) March 18, 2017
And I wasn't the only one, apparently, who thought the sartorial aesthetic was off. Like, come on. You can't do acid wash if you're going for a folksy. You just can't.
If a tree shouts "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE" in the forest, and no one with fashion sense hears it, did it make a sound? pic.twitter.com/Ji7bC1Gz4P— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) March 18, 2017
And then there are the people who insist on ruining a favorite childhood book. Seriously, y'all. Thanks a lot for scarring my memory.
This live action version of "The Giving Tree" looks horrible. pic.twitter.com/5r4sAUSzjD— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) March 18, 2017
The true last page of The Giving Tree. pic.twitter.com/qIWZF7XsML— Stephanie Lucianovic (@grubreport) March 18, 2017
Betsy Devos is revising some of your favorite children's books... The Giving Tree is now 3 pages long and stars Don Jr. pic.twitter.com/VeSOvim5XH— Hal Sparks (@HalSparks) March 18, 2017
As usual, social media are here to keep things real when someone takes it too far and puts Donald Jr. in a tree. Never change, Twitter. But you, Don Jr., should change (clothes) immediately.