If you've ever looked down at a disappointing bowl of salad and felt an overwhelming urge to have it magic into a bar of chocolate and glass of wine instead, then do I have some great news for you. No, you can't turn your salad into wine and chocolate yet — because J.K. Rowling is too busy tweeting to come up with the spell we all need the most — but you can now at least add some much-needed wine to your salad routine. Trader Joe's, a gift to wine and food lovers everywhere, has introduced a product that may just bring some light into the dim, dark, cold January 2019: Organic Rosé Vinaigrette. That's right, TJ's has taken the beauty that is rosé and somehow, someway found a way to upgrade your salad for all eternity (#humbled #grateful #hashtag, etc).
"Inspired by what is still arguably the country’s trendiest wine varietal (#roséallday, right?), this dressing is light, tangy, and slightly floral, with notes of herbs and garlic," the website explains. It retails for $3.49 for a 12 fluid oz bottle and Trader Joe's recommends dousing it over a dress a Crunchy Pita Salad — or any other salad that really floats your boat. Or just, I dunno — drink it?
How do you take the delightful notes of rosé and turn it into something that could even be anywhere close to salad dressing? Well, a lot of herbs, apparently. The dressing is made from sunflower oil, organic red wine vinegar, and organic rosé wine vinegar — because how else would it be an authentic rosé concoction? You take that oil and vinegary goodness and add organic dried garlic, organic dried basil, organic dried oregano, and a little of organic agave syrup and voila, rosé on your damn salad. If you really need to get that rosé hit, this is a way that you can do it anywhere — at work, on a bus, at your weird nephew's Bar Mitzvah. Suddenly, the world is a rosé-colored ocean ready for your to explore.
If you're looking for a slightly less boozy way to get your five-a-day, Trader Joe's has also introduced an Organic Balsamic and Fig Dressing that sounds classy AF, like the kind of thing your rich friend's parents would have at a dinner party. But for the true rosé diehards, there are plenty of out-of-the-box ways to enjoy some rosé flavor. I'd start with the "Unicorn Tears" sparkly rosé if you wanted something a little different — or you could just pour an entire bottle of rose into a bowl and call it a salad. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.
This January has been pretty bleak, between government shutdowns, the Polar Vortex, and — well, nope, those two things have been enough. So it's nice that Trader Joe's decided to brighten our days a little bit with a way to enjoy rosé that is not only winter-appropriate, but that also might even get you to eat a damn vegetable once in a while. Maybe. Rosé salad dressing is about as millennial as you can get — it's even pink — so we might as well embrace it in all its glory. After all, it's a lot of millennial for only $3.49.