If you have also made a public spectacle of yourself by aggressively wearing plaid flannel in 75 degree weather, consuming a pumpkin-flavored beverage for breakfast, and tweeting something flippant about it being the first day of all, then you, too, will probably share my excitement for the pumpkin products at Trader Joe's. As the internet's collective boyfriend, Trader Joe's is always one step ahead of seasonal nonsense you are craving at affordable prices, and this year, thankfully, is no exception. According to reports from Delish, you can march yourself down to your local TJ's for pumpkin goodness as early as right the heck now.
First, a shout out to @traderjoeslist, a Trader Joe's-savvy Instagram account that is doing the good work by alerting all of us to the products stores quietly drop. I'm about six hours away from clocking out of work and wrecking myself with some TJ's Butternut Squash Mac And Cheese and you can bet your bottom dollar it's all their fault. Other goodies seem to include Pumpkin Spice Cookies, Pumpkin Waffles, Pumpkin Spice Coffee, and what appears to be — be still my millennial heart — some kind of chocolate muffin the shape of a pumpkin. Here's an image of the riches @traderjoeslist has collected.
Here are some closer looks at other finds of Trader Joe's list, if you don't mind running the risk of physically removing yourself from your office and hightailing it to your nearest TJ's location to make it happen.
Pumpkin And Roasted Pepitas Cookies
Literally all I can think about right now is dipping this in Nutella with a cup of tea and living my best, most basic life.
Pumpkin Ginger Ice Cream Cones
To ease the sting of transitioning from fall to summer for that friend who's still in their denim cut-offs and clutching onto a glass of frosé for dear life.
Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn
To be liberally consumed while semi-ironically, semi-earnestly watching the Hallmark Christmas movie line up, which is a thing I know starts on Oct. 28 for reasons that I am not willing to admit to myself.
Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread
An opinion that I stand by and will stand by forever is that you can never have too many companies coming out with their own version of pumpkin cream cheese, because I will eat them all.
Butternut Squash Mac And Cheese
I'm sorry, can someone please hold my PSL, because I am about to faint at the majesty of this. Parmesan cheese and pumpkin? Happening in the same damn time in my mouth? This is ... almost too much for a human body to handle.
Organic Pumpkin Frosted Toaster Pastries
"What? They're organic." — Me, after consuming my nine billionth pumpkin toaster pastry for breakfast in full view of an office full of an entire range of more reasonable snack options.
Also pictured in the first image on Trader Joe's List appears to the the famous Trader Joe's Pumpkin Waffles, aka the only thing on this planet that could resuscitate me if I happened to be on my death bed.
Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls
Just when you think the humble cinnamon roll cannot be further improved upon in any way, shape, or form, your boy Trader Joe's does this. Sunday mornings just got a whoooole lot more basic.
And last but not actually last, because there are DOZENS more products, and certainly not least because this might be the best thing to ever happen ...
Pumpkin Marble Mousse Bar
As Trader Joe's List puts it, "Oh just some pumpkin cheesecake over a fudgie brownie base. Nothing to see here people!!"
BRB, collecting my organs from the frozen aisle of Trader Joe's.