Trader Joe's Released Its Pumpkin Products For 2017 Just In Time For The First Day Of Fall

Ad failed to load

If you have also made a public spectacle of yourself by aggressively wearing plaid flannel in 75 degree weather, consuming a pumpkin-flavored beverage for breakfast, and tweeting something flippant about it being the first day of all, then you, too, will probably share my excitement for the pumpkin products at Trader Joe's. As the internet's collective boyfriend, Trader Joe's is always one step ahead of seasonal nonsense you are craving at affordable prices, and this year, thankfully, is no exception. According to reports from Delish, you can march yourself down to your local TJ's for pumpkin goodness as early as right the heck now.

First, a shout out to @traderjoeslist, a Trader Joe's-savvy Instagram account that is doing the good work by alerting all of us to the products stores quietly drop. I'm about six hours away from clocking out of work and wrecking myself with some TJ's Butternut Squash Mac And Cheese and you can bet your bottom dollar it's all their fault. Other goodies seem to include Pumpkin Spice Cookies, Pumpkin Waffles, Pumpkin Spice Coffee, and what appears to be — be still my millennial heart — some kind of chocolate muffin the shape of a pumpkin. Here's an image of the riches @traderjoeslist has collected.

Ad failed to load

Here are some closer looks at other finds of Trader Joe's list, if you don't mind running the risk of physically removing yourself from your office and hightailing it to your nearest TJ's location to make it happen.

Pumpkin And Roasted Pepitas Cookies

Ad failed to load

Literally all I can think about right now is dipping this in Nutella with a cup of tea and living my best, most basic life.

Pumpkin Ginger Ice Cream Cones

Ad failed to load

To ease the sting of transitioning from fall to summer for that friend who's still in their denim cut-offs and clutching onto a glass of frosé for dear life.

Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn

Ad failed to load

To be liberally consumed while semi-ironically, semi-earnestly watching the Hallmark Christmas movie line up, which is a thing I know starts on Oct. 28 for reasons that I am not willing to admit to myself.

Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread

Ad failed to load

An opinion that I stand by and will stand by forever is that you can never have too many companies coming out with their own version of pumpkin cream cheese, because I will eat them all.

Butternut Squash Mac And Cheese

Ad failed to load

I'm sorry, can someone please hold my PSL, because I am about to faint at the majesty of this. Parmesan cheese and pumpkin? Happening in the same damn time in my mouth? This is ... almost too much for a human body to handle.

Organic Pumpkin Frosted Toaster Pastries

Ad failed to load

"What? They're organic." — Me, after consuming my nine billionth pumpkin toaster pastry for breakfast in full view of an office full of an entire range of more reasonable snack options.

Pumpkin Waffles

Ad failed to load

Also pictured in the first image on Trader Joe's List appears to the the famous Trader Joe's Pumpkin Waffles, aka the only thing on this planet that could resuscitate me if I happened to be on my death bed.

Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls

Ad failed to load

Just when you think the humble cinnamon roll cannot be further improved upon in any way, shape, or form, your boy Trader Joe's does this. Sunday mornings just got a whoooole lot more basic.

And last but not actually last, because there are DOZENS more products, and certainly not least because this might be the best thing to ever happen ...

Pumpkin Marble Mousse Bar

Ad failed to load

As Trader Joe's List puts it, "Oh just some pumpkin cheesecake over a fudgie brownie base. Nothing to see here people!!"

BRB, collecting my organs from the frozen aisle of Trader Joe's.

Ad failed to load

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

What I Learned About Work-Life Balance After Relapsing From Alcohol Addiction Recovery

Almost two years ago, I woke up in a hotel room, groggy and dehydrated, with my clothes all over the room and my nightstand filled with mini bottles of liquor. I had spent the previous two days drinking all the alcohol in my mini bar. I'm not sure wh…
By Irina Gonzalez

Everything Leaving & Coming To Netflix In March, So You Can Plan Your Next Marathon Now

Even though the groundhog saw his shadow — forecasting six more weeks of winter — a nice spring thaw is already on everyone's minds. Fortunately, Netflix has things squared away for March. Whether you're ready to cozy up in front of a fire or get you…
By Sophy Ziss

11 Thoughts That Mean You’re Not As Happy With Your Partner As You Might Think

Even if your current dating situation seems to be going well — you're hanging out, having fun, having sex, etc. — it's still possible that you might not be happy with your partner, and thus not truly happy in your relationship. This can be a gut feel…
By Carolyn Steber

25 Book Recommendations From Your Favorite TV Characters

Although the two may seem like natural enemies, the truth is, television and reading are a match made in bibliophile heaven. Not only are some of the best shows based on or inspired by literature, but whenever you turn on the tube you can be sure to …
By Sadie Trombetta

Bustle Editors On CPAC + 'Making A Murderer'

Adulthood is, essentially, just waiting until the weekend hits — which is why I know we're all glad it's finally Friday. Whether your plans are to catch up on all the Netflix content that'll be leaving the platform at the end of February, a weekend g…
By Danielle Colin-Thome

7 Signs Your Energy Is Closed Off To Love, According To A Psychic

Finding love requires more than just the actions of going on dates or setting up an online dating profile. It also requires opening yourself up to love and giving off the vibe that you're open. You may not even realize it if you're energetically bloc…
By Suzannah Weiss

It Took Heather Graham YEARS To Make A Movie About Women Ditching Toxic Men. The Reason? Men.

They say you should write what you know. But in Hollywood, that age-old advice apparently needs an addendum: Write what you know — as long as men are into it. And for actor and newly minted director/screenwriter Heather Graham — a woman who swam thro…
By Kelsea Stahler

Target Just Launched A Gorgeous New Home Brand — And Most Pieces Are Under $30

Design lovers rejoice! Everyone's favorite store for pretty much everything is about to make all your daring decorating dreams come true. Today, Target's corporate blog issued a press release that provides a peek into Target's new homeware line, Opal…
By Callie Tansill-Suddath

17 Brilliant Ways To Support Parkland Survivors Wherever You Are

Following the massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, survivors are demanding Congress take action. A large group of students who survived the shooting are opposing politicians' "thoughts and prayers," arguing that inst…
By Sarah Beauchamp

Here's Where Your Next Trip Should Be, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

If you've been craving a vacation, now is a good time to take the plunge. According to data collected by travel site Expedia, late winters and early spring are pretty much the best times of the year to go on vacation. Based on average airfare ticket …
By Callie Tansill-Suddath

How This Quadriplegic Beauty Lover Beat Cancer & Became A Professional Makeup Artist

In 2010, one day before she was supposed to start cosmetology school, Steph Aiello was involved in a car crash that left her paralyzed from the waist down with limited ability to move her hands and one of her closest friends dead. She would spend the…
By Sara Tan

7 Common Marriage Rules That Aren't Good For Relationships

When it comes to marriage, everyone loves to give their two cents, and with all the warnings and advice floating around out there, no wonder people find marriage intimidating. Luckily, you don't always have to play by the rules, and there's some bad …
By Carina Wolff

The Infuriating Way Hollywood Movie Sets Are Designed To Make Life Harder For Women

Whitney Cummings is fed up — with the way Hollywood treats women, and in particular, the way the it treats female directors who have children. While the entertainment industry may be working hard to get more women behind the camera, Cummings wants to…
By Casey Cipriani

Why Uggs Are Never Going Away, Whether You Like Them Or Not

Uggs. The word alone can conjure up memories of teenage years, regrettable outfits, and undeniable comfort. But if, like me, you thought that you've already said goodbye to those fleece-lined tan boots, you can think again. It seems fashion has adopt…
By Lauren Sharkey

Netflix's New Romantic Movie Will Have You Crying Like It's 'The Fault In Our Stars'

Cancer movies are a heartbreaking staple of Hollywood and have been for decades. It's almost a law of nature: new year, new cancer movie. This year, it's Netflix's Irreplaceable You, a heartbreaking original about a longtime couple who get thrown for…
By Olivia Truffaut-Wong

I Got A Breast Reduction & It Was About So Much More Than The Size Of My Boobs

As a young teenager, I pretty much reached peak physical maturity overnight. One day I was wearing my first training bra a la Lizzie McGuire, and the next I was sweatily fumbling around a Victoria’s Secret with 32DD boobs, trying to summon up the cou…
By Sierra Taylor Horton

Adam Rippon and Mirai Nagasu Have Matching Tattoos & The Story Is So Cute

Olympic season gives people the feels. From those shipping Canadian ice dancing pair Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir to Shaun White's gold medal win on Tuesday, the feels are real. Now, there's another reason to get all up in your emotions. Adam Rippon a…
By Shea Simmons

A New Study Says Being In A Relationship Could Change Your Taste In Wine — Here's How

I’d be willing to bet that for many of you, a nice bottle of wine is awaiting you in your near future — and if you’re planning on sharing that bottle with a partner, there might be more to your choice than meets the eye: According to recent research,…
By Lucia Peters

Carrie Brownstein On Why Even The Obama Era Should Have Enraged You

An icy January morning soon after Hollywood's show of solidarity for the #MeToo movement at the Golden Globes and almost exactly one year into the Trump Administration feels like a momentous time to be sitting across from Carrie Brownstein. The Sleat…
By Samantha Rollins

Here’s What The Upcoming Year Of The Dog Means For Your Chinese Zodiac Sign

On Feb. 16 the world will celebrate the Chinese New Year, welcoming the Year of the Dog in like the good doggo it is — we hope. A new year means new zodiac predictions for the 365 days ahead. So, what does the Year of the Dog mean for your Chinese zo…
By Brittany Bennett

7 Signs You're Ready To Get Into A Relationship, According To Experts

It can be difficult to tell when you're ready to start dating again. Maybe you're coming off of a bad breakup, maybe you've just been focused on other things. And, ironically, one of the signs that you're ready to be in a relationship is that you're …
By Lea Rose Emery

The 15 Best Fiction Books Of February Feature Tons Of Extraordinary Women

When the cold winds of February blow in, there's nothing I want more than to hide under my covers with a good book. Luckily, there's more than a few fantastic new fiction books coming out this month, so the only tough decision you'll have to make is …
By Melissa Ragsdale