What Is Han Solo's Real Name? 'Star Wars' Fans Are Making Up Some Pretty Stellar Ones While We Wait To Find Out
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In case you didn't feel the disturbance rippling through the Force yesterday, Disney CEO Bob Iger announced in a Q&A about the upcoming Han Solo prequel that the beloved character's name isn't actually Han Solo. So, um, the next logical question to shout out the 11th story window of your office building in the middle of the day is, "What is Han Solo's real name????" But alas, the odds of us finding out that information before the film's May 25, 2018 release date are slim to none, barring some rampantly abused Jedi mind tricks to make it happen.

Of course, an absence of information has done nothing to stop fans of the infamous Corellian rogue from imagining what his "real name" is as we attempt to grapple with this literally life-changing information. (If Han Solo isn't his real name, maybe Emma isn't mine? Who am I? Who are any of us??) The only way we're going to be able to right our topsy-turvy little worlds again is to get some backstory and his real name, stat, so we can either accept it as canon or start making ridiculous memes about it on social media. If you too are struggling to reconcile the Alt Fact that is Han Solo's name, then maybe you will be comforted by the host of fan "theories" on Twitter ...

You've Known ~All Along~

UGH, SPOILERS.

Disney May Recycle It

Eugene is the exact kind of name that leads you into a stellar career in cross-galaxy smuggling, TBH.

We Could All Live With This One

Star Wars fans: Never forgive, never forget.

Plz Don't

The cringe would ripple through so many galaxies.

Han's Just His Nickname

Close friend of Boaty McBoatface.

What's Eating Han Solo?

Gilbert admittedly lacks a certain ~finesse~.

Payback Time

This would actually be kind of precious, the name thing aside.

B'Awwwwww

Throwback Thursday, y'all.

In any case, in the wake of all these guesses, it is clear that the fandom is mostly Not Okay right now, if the tweets are any indication.

No worries, everyone — only 427 more days until we find out the truth!