What Is Orgasmic Meditation? This Practice Connects Wellness & Sexuality
Wellness is a buzzword for 2019. If influencers and content creators are to be believed, meditation and mindfulness are pretty great ways to help you lead a balanced life. Despite knowing this, however, we all still find it hard to take time out away from our hectic schedules. But cutting out this distraction out, both in your regular life and your sex life, could do you a world of good too. One way to achieve that is orgasmic meditation. Rather than making sex and pleasure goal-oriented, orgasmic meditation (or OM, as it's sometimes known) asks you to adopt a mindful approach to putting yourself in touch with your body and sexuality.
If you’ve ever taken time out to practice mindfulness, then OM may not feel too distant from that. According to the NHS, a key idea behind mindfulness is paying more attention to the present moment. OM combines this with the process of achieving and feeling an orgasm. As Marissa Ward, head of OM education at the Institute of OM explains, "Orgasmic meditation is a partnered consciousness practice. It’s 15 minutes where both people put all of their attention on the sensations they're feeling in their body. There's a strokee and a stroker. The strokee is the person with a clitoris. The stroker is the person deliberately stroking the clitoris, particularly the upper lefthand quadrant, for fifteen minutes with absolutely no goal."
"Orgasmic meditation uses the word 'orgasm' but it's not about 'climax.' Climax is a stage of the orgasm state, but since there's no goal to Orgasmic Meditation it's not a requirement. If it naturally happens it's welcomed, but it's not the determining factor of 'success.'"
With sites such as Gwyneth Paltrow's goop recommending OM, the practice comes pretty highly endorsed. Speaking about the feedback she's had from client, Ward says, "I’ve worked with couples who, after practicing OM for some time, were able to really feel and connect with their partner more deeply and have a sense of what their partner is feeling. These benefits transition to everyday life and you cultivate the sensitivity to be connected and be intimate with another person."
While guided OMclasses come at a pretty high price, you can download the Institute of OM's guide to gain insight into how OM works. According to their website, if you want to have a go, you should:
- You need to set up a “nest”: Make sure your environment is comfortable and relaxing.
- Have a hand towel, timer, and lube.
- Get into a comfortable position.
- Set the timer for 13 minutes, and then an additional timer for two minutes later.
- The person doing the stroking should describe what they see.
- The stroker should apply lube to their fingers, then ask the person being stroked if they’re ready. After verbal consent, the person stroking can begin stroking the upper left hand quadrant.
- When the timer dings at 13 minutes, the stoker should begin using down strokes.
- When the second timer dings, the stroker should apply pressure to their partner’s genital using their hand until both participants feel back in their bodies.
- The stoker should use a towel to wipe lube from the genitals to the hands, then put nest away.
Speaking about the benefits of OM Ward says, "Having that connection between mind and body is something that OM cultivates in both people. Both partners are building this deeper awareness, in their own bodies, and having greater sensitivity with another person."
Prioritising your pleasure and concentrating on what you’re feeling in the moment are great ways to improve your sex life and general wellness, meaning OM is definitely something to consider looking into.