Which Character You're Most Likely To Be In A Horror Movie, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
If you watch a lot of horror movies, you know they generally follow a formula. While you might relate to a particular archetype, the character you're most likely to be in a horror movie based on your zodiac sign could determine if you would actually survive the plot of a horror movie IRL. With Halloween 2017 almost upon us, you might be gearing up for a horror-movie marathon. And, you might notice that most horror movies — despite plot differences — tend to have the same cast of characters. There's usually a comedian, a smartypants, the tortured soul, the sport, the cheerleader, the couple, the loner, the nice person everyone likes, the over-confident person (which can also be the jock), the first to go, the survivalist, and the villain.
Now, I know everyone would like to think that they're the smartypants or survivalist who will make it to the end of the film and continue to be the hero through a parade of sequels, however someone has to be the first to go or else the movie would be pretty boring. And, perhaps you don't want the stress of constantly fighting off Michael Myers from Halloween, Jason Voorhees from Friday The 13th, or Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street.
Of the three villains I just mentioned, two of them walk super slow so I don't know why more characters can't out run them, but obviously some of you are going to trip over a tree root, or get trapped in a basement, or not notice that the killer is looming above you because you're busy making out with your BAE.
So, which archetype do you think you are? Here's the character you're most likely to be in a horror movie based on your zodiac sign.
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1. Aries: The Over-Confident Cliché
Aries-born people tend to have confidence for days, sometimes to their detriment. While an abundance of over-confidence is what skyrocketed Aries-singer/songwriter Lady Gaga to global fame, the same trait means it's curtains for Aries during the first act of a horror movie. In a scary movie, the over-confident cliché is probably an Aries. This sign's inability to discern the difference between real and perceived danger is what makes them go into the basement alone — just to prove they can — while everyone else is screaming, "Don't go in the basement!" While bravado can get Aries pretty far IRL, it won't do them any good in a horror movie, and Aries will likely be one of the first to go.
2. Taurus: The Loner
Taurus is known for being stubborn AF, and for being a bit of a know it all. In a horror movie a Taurus might be the person who's not part of the main group, but who has vital information that can help other characters survive. However, if the group doesn't listen to the Taurus, the bull will go their own way, convinced they know better than anyone else. This is not necessarily the best idea, and Taurus' obsession with being right will usually get them killed during one of the sequels, like the horror movie encyclopedia Randy Meeks in the Scream trilogy.
3. Gemini: The Villain
Gemini has something that no other sign does, the ability to see two points of view simultaneously and believe that both perspectives are correct. The duality of the twins makes Gemini the ideal killer in a revenge-plot horror movie, like Scream where the killer can act as both psychopath and trusting friend. While a Gemini can empathize with the victims they may have to off to get to their real target, they can also completely separate those emotions in favor of accomplishing their end goal. And, because Gemini thrives on excitement, playing a dual role is super appealing to them.
4. Cancer: The Tortured Soul
Cancer's sensitive and emotional nature means that they likely won't be able to keep a cool head when the killer comes calling. If the crab is not one of the first victims, Cancer will be unable to calm down and be overwhelmed with emotion when they see other characters meeting an untimely end. A Cancer is usually the person in the film who trips and falls, crawls into a corner, and covers their face while accepting their fate. It's OK Cancer, not everyone is cut out to be in a horror movie, which is why you getting offed so quickly is probably best for everyone.
5. Leo: The Cheerleader
A Leo is the last person you want with you during a horror film because the look-at-me lion is the person who's likely to get everyone else killed. Leo's need to be the center of attention means that Leo-born characters will ignore the mandatory curfew, go to the party anyways, and accidentally lead the killer back to where everyone else is hiding. Of course, Leo won't take any responsibility for this. And, in an attempt to save themselves, the rest of the group will gladly offer up Leo as a sacrifice.
6. Virgo: The Survivalist
Virgos are known for being practical and analytical, which makes them the perfect survivalists in a horror movie. They probably have a disaster kit in both their car and their closet, and they can keep a cool head while everything is spiraling out of control. In a horror movie the Virgo will be the one with the first-aid kit, the person who knows what to use to kill a zombie versus a vampire, and the character who knows there's a secret trap door in the attic. However, if you drag a Virgo down, or don't heed their warnings, a Virgo will drop you like yesterday's Instagram feed and save themselves. Virgo will not be the hero of the horror movie, but they will likely get away from the killer unscathed, even if that means they have to leave you behind.
7. Libra: The Nice Person Everyone Likes
Because they want to please everyone all of the time, Libras are known for being well liked. In a horror movie a Libra will be the character that everyone likes, and they'll probably also be the person to rescue the poor soul that Virgo abandons to save their own skin. While Libra's likability will get them pretty far in a horror film, their constant need to seek balance and approval, paired with their inability to make a decision (should I run up the stairs or out the front door?), will be the cause of their demise in the third act. Libra is the character you're rooting for the most, but who you know deep down will never make it to the end. Hey, that's OK because Libra will have the most mourners at their funeral.
8. Scorpio: The Villain
While Gemini's duality makes them the ideal villain in a horror movie where they also pretend to be everyone's BFF, Scorpio is likely the villain in any kind of revenge, or stalker, horror movie. Scorpio's negative characteristics, including jealousy, manipulation, secrecy, and vengefulness make them the perfect candidate to be the killer that specifically targets other characters who they think have wronged them in some way. Scorpio's strong will, bravery, and endless determination means their not likely to give up until they've offed everyone on their list, which makes Scorpio a much more dangerous villain than Gemini.
9. Sagittarius: Part Of The Couple
The Sagittarius character in a horror movie will probably be part of the happy couple who doesn't believe the danger is real. Instead of taking cover and locking the door, the Sagittarius and their partner will grab some beers, park on a deserted street, and get involved in a heavy make-out session while blasting Journey. This, of course, is what will end up getting the Sagittarius and their BAE killed. Being distracted by drinking and smooching makes the couple an easy target, and the villain might decide to take them out to punish them for being so clueless.
10. Capricorn: Smartypants
If you have any Capricorns in your life you might be surprised at how singleminded they can be when they have a goal. Capricorns are the ones getting into ivy league schools, and advancing to the top of their fields. They are not easily distracted, and they don't let anything get in their way, which is key to surviving a scary movie. Capricorns are totally fine being on their own, and their brains, independence, and shrewd sense of self preservation is what's going to get them to the end of a horror movie in one piece. The Capricorn is the Jamie Lee Curtis of the film, and will prevail by slaying the killer, who somehow manages to come back to life for the sequel.
11. Aquarius: The Comedian
The independent Aquarius is in the horror movie for the laughs, either as the sidekick to the serial killer, or the funny friend who comes up with the super crazy escape plan that no one else thinks is a good idea. While Aquarius can be a jokester, this sign's independent streak means they are likely to abandon the group when no one else wants to go along with their crazy plan. And, since one of the first rules of a horror movie is don't separate yourself from the group, by going it alone, Aquarius is super vulnerable to the killer. Sometimes the Aquarius even gets caught in their own trap, like Rose McGowan's character in Scream who gets killed by the garage door after she tries to close it on the killer. Oops.
12. Pisces: In Denial
If by some miracle a Cancer gets away from the killer, pensive Pisces will be the first person to meet an untimely end. Like the crab, the fish is another tortured soul. However, Pisces' tendency toward escapism means that they will deny there is any danger, put on their noise canceling headphones, and listen to some kind of jam band at full volume. The unfortunate combination of escapism and pure denial of reality makes Pisces an easy mark and, unlike Cancer, unsuspecting Pisces won't have time to try to get away. On the upside, while the fish may be one of the first to go, at least they go out doing something they love instead of huddled in the corner in fear like the crab.