Every guy I've dated has requested anal at some point, even to the point of begging. This experience seems to be ubiquitous in heterosexual relationships, begging the question: Why do men love anal sex? Does anal really feel that much better than vaginal sex? What's the appeal?
"For the penetrating partner, many people enjoy the sensation of anal sex," Dr. Britney Blair, PsyD, CBSM, AASECT, psychologist, and founder of the sexual wellness app Lover, tells Bustle. "I think also people enjoy anal sex in part for the idea."
Anal sex is "naughty" to many people, Dr. Blair says, and penetrating someone that way can make them feel dominant. And for receiving partners, people of all genders often enjoy the feeling of being "filled up," Dr. Blair says. Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach and educator, goes further in saying that anal sex is erotic because it’s seen as forbidden. “So much of our sexual arousal comes from what is happening mentally,” Martine says. This eroticism is a major reason why some guys like anal.
Men's obsession with anal is often treated as a joke in popular culture. It was even referenced to much controversy in an episode of The Mindy Project, when Mindy's boyfriend Danny attempted anal without her permission and then innocently claimed, "I slipped." (For the record: You and your partner should always talk about anal sex and make sure that you're both on board before kicking things off.) We also have the legendary pegging episode of Broad City as a cultural touchpoint showing a straight guy who wanted to be penetrated. In that case, his interest in anal sex wasn't the punchline — Abbi's response to it was.
Since we know how women feel about anal sex, we had a mix of gay and straight men tell Bustle why they're so into it. For those on the receiving end, it's all about the physical pleasure of prostate stimulation and feeling "full." For those on the penetrating end, it's a combination of experiencing a different sensation and, sometimes, about a feeling of dominance. But the general consensus is: They're into it.
Jon*, 22, Receiving
"It feels like pooping in reverse, but in the most pleasurable way."
Dan*, 21, Receiving
"Since the prostate is the pleasure center, you feel really good and really aroused."
Kyle*, 22, Receiving
"If you're aroused and relaxed, then it feels amazing."
Miguel*, 20, Receiving
"The prostate is the male G-spot, so it feels analogous to getting touched in the most sensitive part of my penis."
Dmitry*, 21, Receiving
"It feels deep and filling and good."
Tanner*, 20, Giving
"It's tighter. Not as soft [as vaginal sex]. It feels unreal. It feels like a step above sex so it makes me feel more dominant."
James*, 23, Giving
"It doesn't feel that much different than vaginal sex, except tighter and not as well lubricated."
Lee*, 25, Giving
"It feels amazing. It's much tighter and there's more friction. Also, I'm a very dominant person and there's something naturally transgressive about it, which makes it hotter."
Sean*, 20, Giving
"Anal isn't that great. It almost feels too tight. But I like the accomplishment of getting a girl to do it. It's like the ultimate control — it's some next level sh*t."
Jake*, 22, Giving
"It just feels better in general because of the tightness, but for me the dominance is an added bonus. It's like doggy style but I'm responsible for more of the work."
Elli*, 26, Giving
"The texture's different. It feels more slippery. I don't think its any better than vaginal sex, but there's something taboo about it that makes it hot. It's just something you do to be able to say you did it."
Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach and educator
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