Phone Anxiety Sucks. Here's How To Cope.

Are you being chased by a bear or making a quick call to your dentist? When you have phone anxiety, your body can barely tell the difference. As you dial, the stress sets in. As it rings, you can feel your face getting hot. And if they answer? It’s like your entire body shuts down.

On TikTok, many people have pointed out that Millennials and Gen Z hate making phone calls — but it’s actually so much more than a preference thing. Instead of calling people at work, creator @sushsaanvi always tries to send emails instead to avoid the phone, while @haileybee33 said her mom had to make calls for her well into her 20s. For some, the fear never really goes away.

Even today, @haileybee33 said her brain kicks in with worries like, “What if I don’t know what to say?” and “What if I mess up?” In her comments, someone said, “I’m glad I’m not the only one!” Another creator, @charlycheer, said her phone anxiety is so bad she often forgets her own phone number when asked for it during a call.

For creator @siennaa.smiith, her phone anxiety goes into overdrive when someone calls her. “I panic, I get hot sweats, I cannot answer it for the life of me,” she said in a clip. While she has no problem talking to people in person, something about the phone sends her into a spiral. “Why am I like this? How do I get over it?” Here’s what two therapists have to say, plus tips for overcoming your fears.

Phone Anxiety Is Real

Phone anxiety may be a relatable internet meme, but it’s also a real issue. According to Dr. Jenny Martin, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, it can feel like a spike of anticipatory dread, followed by a mental spiral that insists something is about go wrong.

“Physiologically, this can mean an increased heart rate, shallow breath, and muscle tension,” she tells Bustle. “Psychologically, it can look like fear of being evaluated negatively paired with loss of control over how you’re perceived.” Some people even get dizzy or hang up in a panic.

That’s why texts and emails win every time. “There is a sense of emotional safety and distancing with texting — we can ignore a response, deal with it when we’re ready, or regulate ourselves before replying,” Martin says. “On the phone, though, we have to engage in real time.”

“Unpredictability is what impacts the nervous system.”

That hot, sweaty fear often stems from a loss of control, says licensed psychotherapist Lisa Chen, LMFT. “There's no chance to 'edit' like there is with texting, and you also can't read the other person's face,” she says. “For many people, that unpredictability is what impacts the nervous system and makes them anxious.”

There’s a hint of performance anxiety going on, as well as a touch of avoidance. “The more a person avoids calls, the more relief they feel in the moment, but it's only temporary and reinforces fear in the long-term,” Chen says. The next time you go to make a call, you might feel even more on edge.

It matters, too, that so much of life happens digitally these days. Since you can often get away with sending an email or making a doctor’s appointment in an app, it feels almost unnatural to reach for your phone and dial a number.

While it might not seem like a big deal to hate calls in 2026, this type of anxiety can truly hold you back. It makes it challenging to schedule checkups, ask bank-related questions, call employers, and even order food or schedule a nail appointment — which should be light-hearted and easy to do.

You also run the risk of putting something important off for months because you’re too scared to call. But remember: the more you put it off, the worse it gets. “Avoidance narrows our world,” Martin says. “Not only does it limit access — like the rare but real doctor appointments that must be made via phone — it reinforces that phone calls are threatening.”

Tell That Phone Who’s Boss

As with any type of anxiety, there are quite a few ways to start overcoming your fear of making phone calls. On TikTok, @haileybee33 recommended practicing by calling stores and asking what time they close. This is a very normal thing to call and ask about, and it’s also super low stakes. You can call any store you like — even one you’d never go to — and ask this simple question as a way to dip your toe in.

It’s over in five seconds, it shows your body that phone calls aren’t life-threatening, and over time it should start to feel easier. As Chen says, “The way to combat phone anxiety is building tolerance through small, repeated exposures where the goal is to ‘stay on the call,’ not be ‘perfect’ on the call.”

Martin also recommends writing a loose script. That way your mind is less likely to race or go blank as you wait for the other person to answer. A quick, “Hi, this is XYZ. I’m calling to make an appointment to get a cavity filled” would suffice. Read it word by word, if you have to.

From there, it’s about reminding yourself that anxiety won’t actually hurt you — it just kind of sucks in the moment. It’s also OK to do it scared. “I still get nervous making certain calls,” Martin says. “The goal is to develop a tolerance to anxiety.” Keep practicing, and soon you’ll be shootin’ the breeze with your dentist.

Sources:

Dr. Jenny Martin, PsyD, clinical psychologist, founder of Gemstone Wellness

Lisa Chen, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist, founder of Lisa Chen & Associates Therapy