Wellness
Two led to marriage.
The art of the pickup line has seen better days. Ever since dating apps revolutionized the way singles meet, many people’s motivation to buck up the courage for a face-to-face opener has dwindled. Alas, there are still attempts being made in the flesh, however sparse and idle they may be. Below, women reveal the pickup lines they’ve actually heard in the wild.
There is quite a variety of tactics that hopeful singles are employing out there. Some of them are genuinely great. Others are... interesting, to say the least. Of course, we have the classically cringey puns and the recycled conversation starters you’ve heard a million times over. Then there are some rather off-the-wall openers that you’ll just have to see for yourself to believe.
It should also, sadly, come as no surprise that people are still doling out some pretty offensive lines in an attempt to... woo the objects of their desires? Make them... laugh, perchance? Cause them to flee? The goal of such slights is still unclear as it’s generally unattractive to insult strangers to their faces.
Here are some of the most memorable real-world examples of pickup lines women have heard IRL, for better or worse.
“He asked my best friend for one of her rings, then got down on a knee and fake-proposed to me in the middle of a bar. Now, he’s my actual husband.” — Candice, 30
This is definitely a pickup line of the “for better” variety. From a fake proposal to a real marriage? That’s a success story if there ever was one.
"My phone is broken, would you mind helping me? It doesn't have your number." — Hannah, 31
It’s just clever enough that it could work, but only under the right circumstances. Either way, it’s likely to have someone cracking a smile at least, even if she doesn’t end up helping him with that missing number problem.
"You'll do." — Meghan, 32
Boo. If some of these men had half as much human decency as they do audacity, they might just get somewhere. But alas, a girl can only dream. Seriously, “You’ll do”? How about you do better? Zero out of 10.
“Can I ask you a question?” / “Sure, what’s up?” / “Are you a beaver?”/ “Excuse me?” / *looks up and down* “Because damn!” — Jaylyn, 29
It’s not the worst, but it’s so cliché it hurts. Not that a good dad joke isn’t appreciated now and then, but the whole beaver/damn thing has seen its glory days come and go.
“Is this the line for drinks?” — Kelsey, 30
More often than not, just talking to someone normally instead of having a whole elaborate scheme going on will work the best. And asking a genuine and situationally relevant question takes almost all the pressure off and helps the guy not come off like a total creep. Bravo.
“I had one guy grab my hand to show me a map, like draw it out on my palm like a game: ‘I lived here and the store was here, but there was a train running through, so how did you get to the store?’ And I asked him, ‘I don’t know, how?’ And he said, ‘I don’t know, I just wanted to hold your hand and tell you how beautiful you are.’ It was adorable.” — Jess, 27
This might not work for everyone, every time. But for the right person, it’ll be heartwarming.
"I was dressed in Gryffindor gear at a Harry Potter bar crawl. A guy approaches with his buddies and says he’s 'never kissed a Gryffindor, can I kiss you?' The answer was no and I suspect it may have been a dare but it cracked me up regardless." — Elise, 31
Although he’s probably not going to be winning the House Cup this year, he gets a few points for cleverness and creativity.
"One time at a bar, a guy asked me if I wanted to play Uno and pulled out an Uno deck. Obviously it worked, because of course I wanted to play Uno." — Julia, 30
A classic and clean card game is certainly not a bad idea. He probably got the longest interaction with this one than any others on this list.
“A guy once came up to me at a bar and said he would do the worm until I gave him my number, then literally proceeded to drop down to the floor and do it.” — Leila, 28
It’s giving Noah and Allie from The Notebook, but make it 2024. Although the threat of a perpetual worm wiggle is a bit less problematic than that of dropping yourself from a Ferris wheel if the girl doesn’t oblige your request.
“If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d only have one because you never left my mind.” — Maiya, 28
Admit it, he had you in the first half. And then there’s a plot twist and it’s actually quite clever. Well done.
“Who invited all these people? I thought it was just going to be you and me.” — Anna, 25
This pickup line is kind of cute and silly. Unless it’s meant verbatim and this stranger knew who she was, where she was going, when she was going there, and was hoping she’d do so alone. In that case, no, not cute. Not cute at all.
“My friends bet me I wouldn't talk to the prettiest girl in the bar. Can I buy you a drink with their money?” — Megan, 25
Now there’s a creative way to give someone a huge compliment. And she gets a drink out of it if she wants. Overall it’s not too shabby.
"I was reading in the park. A man sat next to me and said, 'How long do you think it will take you to finish that book?' I said a few days. He said 'I always feel like reading is a waste of time. You could be doing something.' The best part is the book I was reading: The Story of Art Without Men." — Jess, 38
The way this man either refused or was not capable of reading — no pun intended — the room. If you’re trying to pick someone up maybe don’t bash on the one hobby you can visibly see them engaging in? Just a thought. A second zero out of ten.
“Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is pretty messed up.” — Blayke, 27
This was either a teenager or an actual child because there is no way a grown adult man walks up to a grown adult woman and says this tired recycled crap. Unless it was a frat guy standing within earshot of his buddies, in which case, this would sadly check out.
“Wow, I love your outfit. It would look great on the floor of my bedroom.” — Taylor, 25
You’ve probably heard this little number a time or 12 from early 2000s comedies or a drunk uncle recounting the tales of his prime to anyone who would listen. Either option exemplifies someone who thinks insinuating hooking up is an attractive first thing to say to a total stranger.
“I bet I can guess how much you squat.” — Jamie, 31
In the right context (whatever that might be), maybe. But it’s a loose maybe. Because really, this guy is just straight up telling her that he’s been staring in deep contemplative thought at her behind.
“I cook and clean and [can] give you kids for free.” — Carly, 28
It started great and ended terribly. Cooking and cleaning? What a man. But chill out with the whole “give you kids for free” thing. Yikes.
"'Hello, you tall statue of looove.' (I’m very tall.)” — Kennedy, 28
It’s goofy and playful and most importantly, not vulgar. But its success depends entirely on the context. It could absolutely come off creepy, but just as well it could be cute and totally harmless.
“When are you going to hit on me?” — Sarah, 26
This is a banger of a pickup line. It’s got the energy of a man with no qualms over being baby girled by his woman. A masculinity-secure king. 20/10.
"Can you pass me the menu?" — Jackie, 28
He might just genuinely want to see the menu. If he’s trying to pick her up, he better have a backup line because this could just be a gridlock.
"How do you know [the party host]?" — Abigail, 26
Props to this guy for beginning with a completely normal conversation starter. The world could use more of those.
"What are you planning to make with those limes?" (at the grocery store) — Mary, 29
The question itself is pretty tame but how many people really want to get hit on while they’re trying to buy groceries? But on the flipside, there’s sure plenty more wholesome interactions to be had than out at a bar.
“Has anyone ever told you you have the kind of nose people walk into a plastic surgeon and ask for?” — Rania, 27
That might be the most specific and thoughtful compliment that’s ever been uttered. That’s got to play in her mind at least once a day, twice on bad days.
“On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” Rachel, 28
With all the terrible, used-up pickup lines that never seem to fade out of existence, it’s the creative ones like these that always win. Bonus points for humor.
“You can wash away that makeup, but that pretty ain’t coming off!” — Selma, 31
Normally men should just refrain from commenting on a woman’s makeup because if it’s honesty hour, they are likely to fumble it. But in this case, he’s not hating on her makeup or her bare face, so it’s not the worst.
“I wish there was one less “e” in your name so you could be Mine.” — Miene, 28
This is how the pros do it: notice something about them in the moment and come up with a unique and clever line on the spot. Plus it can’t be reused on basically anyone else.
“On a scale of one to 10, you’re a nine and I’m the one you need.” — Erika, 25
It’s crafty, but you’ve likely heard it or something similar a few times. It doesn’t really offer much in the way of conversation-starting though.
“Is your dad a preacher? Because girl, you’re a blessing.” — Kennedy, 23
This pickup line is a bit cringy, a bit cheesy, but also a little sweet. It’s a solid mid attempt.
“I bet you $20 you’re going to turn me down.” — Jordan, 25
Smart man. He either gets a date or a crisp Jackson. It’s a win-win situation — for him, that is.
This article was originally published on
