How To Actually Get Sleep At Your Parents’ House During The Holidays

Going home for the holidays is so cozy. It’s a chance to see your fam, wear your favorite pajamas from high school, and regress to childhood, in the best way. It feels like all is right with the world — until it’s time for bed.

When staying with your parents as an adult, it’s not uncommon to find yourself in an odd sleeping situation. On TikTok, people are discussing being relegated to uncomfortable couches and cots, often because a married sibling got the guest room or their childhood bedroom was already renovated into Mom’s crafting lair. Could anything be more disorienting for a 32-year-old than waking up on a trundle bed?

Others have to contend with the weird aura of their childhood bedroom. Nothing will keep you awake at night quite like the creepy shadow cast on the wall from your American Girl doll. (Did you just see Kit blink?) And when the unfamiliar hum of their fridge kicks on, you know it’s a wrap.

Then, of course, there are all the noises from your parents themselves, who seem to wake up earlier every year. If you do manage to fall asleep, chances are it’ll be interrupted by a 5 a.m. vacuuming sesh followed by a last-minute kitchen remodel — or at least crashes and booms that sound like it.

While it can feel impossible to sleep at your parents' house during the holidays, you can make it happen. Here are a few survival tips.

Why It’s So Tough To Sleep

When sleeping at your parents’ house, it’s not uncommon to find yourself tossing and turning in a bed that’s too small, says therapist Christine M. Valentín, LCSW. Either you’re on a twin-sized bed, cot, or air mattress — and it just isn’t what you’re used to.

It’s also possible you’ll be tucked into an area of the house that isn’t set up for sleep, like a cluttered office or a noisy living room where people are coming and going. Trying to snooze next to a whirring desktop? Not always easy.

Even if you luck out and have the comfiest bed in the world, it still doesn’t guarantee a good night’s sleep. Stressful family dynamics can keep your mind turned on, Valentín says, leading you to lie awake late into the night.

Plus, it’s never easy to sleep in unfamiliar places, whether it’s a hotel, a new partner’s apartment, or your parents’ condo on Christmas. Your body is on edge, constantly listening for the next unexpected noise. All it takes is a car driving by, the creak of a floorboard, or the unsettling tick of a clock in the hallway to keep you up until morning.

While it may be challenging to come by, good sleep is essential, especially during the holidays. “When we don't sleep well, it can lead to feeling irritable and short-tempered,” Valentín says, which can make dealing with family even more difficult.

How To Get Some Rest

As you get ready to head home for the holidays, make sure you pack a cute outfit, a cozy sweater, and an essentials kit to help you sleep. Valentín recommends bringing your “creature comforts,” aka all the things you typically use to snooze.

“For some, that includes a noise machine, an eye mask, ear buds, a comfortable pillow, or a blanket,” she says. Don’t try to go a week without your faves, especially if your sleeping arrangements are less than desirable. Pack it all, even if it means lugging an extra bag. You’ll be so grateful for those earplugs.

Valentín also suggests bringing your own toiletries, rather than relying on whatever your parents have at home. Pack your go-to body wash, toothpaste, and shampoo, as well as other must-haves, like a book or a nightlight. It’s all about retaining some semblance of normalcy, even though you’re shacked up on the couch.

Homey scents can help trick your brain into thinking you’re in your own bed, too, so don’t forget your usual lavender pillow spray. Asking your mom for a fan is also key so you can adjust your temporary space to the temperature you’d like.

Sleep Arrangement

If you’re worried about the sleeping arrangements this holiday season, it’s more than OK to talk about it before you hop on the plane. Valentín says having a candid conversation early on will help you adjust your expectations and also make your parents more aware of your needs. (They do have a way of forgetting you’re a real adult, however obvious it may be.)

To advocate for yourself, ask for more info about what the setup will be, if only so you can brace yourself ahead of time. If there aren’t going to be enough beds, you can also talk about getting a substantial air mattress. If you need to, book a hotel for the duration, stay at your aunt’s, or cut back on how long you plan to stay.

While there is something fun about sleeping on a couch by the Christmas tree, it shouldn’t be at the expense of your well-being.

Source:

Christine M. Valentín, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker