When you're single and on the prowl 24/7 (or at least in between binge-watching Netflix), it's pretty normal to share stories of your conquests with friends. Where'd you meet? What'd they look like? How hot/weird/awkward/mindblowing was it? These questions are NBD following a NSA hookup, but when it comes to talking about relationship sex, we tend to get a little tight-lipped.
According to multiple sex therapists discussing the subject in Cosmopolitan, our cultural habit of keeping quiet about coupled up comings and goings isn't the best practice. While it's important to maintain boundaries and not divulge secrets that could conceivable mortify your significant other, it's also important to keep the sex conversation going after you've "settled down." When you stop sharing, it can isolate you in a variety of ways. And even if you think you're passing the sex test with flying colors, why shouldn't you be allowed to celebrate your victories with friends?
While what you choose to reveal entirely depends upon your individual social circle, if you're only talking sex when you're single and not when you're in a relationship, it might be time to retool your privacy settings. Here are five reasons why talking to your friends about relationship sex can be beneficial:
1. It's Fun
One of the saddest parts about partnering up is having to suddenly act all "adult" about your sex life. Why should your single friends get to monopolize the brunch/bar talk with tales of their latest exploits? Even if they are not as salacious, you deserve to share your sex stories, too.
2. It Prioritizes The Emotional Aspects Of Sex For Once
It's easy to talk about your night moves when they're purely carnal, but when feelings start to creep it, it can be a little tougher to open up. Sex isn't just physical, so it's liberating to discuss the vulnerable, emotional side of getting it on, too, if only as a reminder that there are many types of equally valid sexual experiences.
3. It Normalizes The Ups And Downs Of Relationship Sex
It's socially acceptable for single folks to opine about their lack of action without it reflecting poorly on them, but when you're in a relationship, mentioning you aren't getting any is seen as a personal failing. If more people talked about their relationship sex (or lack thereof), it would help normalize the ups and downs that many people experience with a partner.
4. It Helps Keeps Your Friendships Intimate, Even When You Have An S.O. In Your Life
Nothing brings you closer together to your BFFs quite like some X-rated real talk. When you keep your friends abreast of your relationship sexing, you can maintain the closeness that comes easy when you're hooking up with someone new every week and dishing about it on a regular basis.
5. It Helps Improve Your Game
Relationship sex can have way more of an impact on your general wellbeing that random hookups can, so why should you stop trying to improve your game? The more you share your escapades and listen to others, the more chances you'll have to pick up a few tips and tricks to keep your partnered loving on point.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
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