I live in a city and therefore, my friends and I never have to deal with the horrific conundrum of forcing someone to be sober and drive us around. Designated Drivers only happen when we're going to a party in the 'burbs.However, everyone is a D.D. at some point in their lives and so it's necessary that you feel comfortable being sober around a bunch of drunkies. I know, having fun while sober, a frightening thought. But there are actually many ways to ball out while sober. One such way is karaoke. Sober karaoke is a delicate art and it's all about choosing the best song for your sober karaoke session.
You've undoubtedly done drunk karaoke before but sober karaoke is a different ball game. You might actually remember singing karaoke if you're sober. You will also be devoid of the unprecedented self-confidence you normally have when drunk so if you suck, you'll know it.
There are a few key things to choosing a good sober karaoke song. First, it has to be fun and something the crowd can get into. Second, it can't be too played out. You would never want to commit the faux pas of choosing a cliche karaoke song. Lastly, because you're sober, it's better to pick a song with a conservative vocal range so you don't humiliate yourself and feel comfortable with your choice. Here are a few great sober karaoke songs to get you started so chug your water, pick a song, and marvel in the bliss of sober karaoke.
"Waterfalls" — TLC
All you have to do is channel your inner Kenny from We're The Millers and you're golden.
"You Oughta Know" — Alanis Morissette
When you're sober and sing Alanis, you're angsty and punk and awesome. When you're drunk and sing Alanis, you are just a hot mess who clearly has some lingering issues.
"I Believe I Can Fly" — R. Kelly
This one will stroke the nostalgic side of your drunk counterparts (and make you want to watch Space Jam the second you get home).
"Walkin' In Memphis" — Marc Cohn
This has that classic karaoke vibe without being as cliche as "Sweet Caroline."
"Killing Me Softly" — The Fugees
You won't be able to sing this song just one time, one time.
"Maria, Maria" — Santana
The cougars will go wild for this one. Who doesn't love a good Santana guitar solo?
"Here Comes Your Man" — Pixies
A.K.A. the song Joseph Gordon Levitt tries and fails to sing in 500 Days of Summer.
"Can't Feel My Face" — The Weeknd
This one will be overplayed soon so you've got to strike while the iron's hot. This song is perfect. Drunk people love to dance to it, it's not too hard to sing, and it's got that great Michael Jackson vibe to it. You can't go wrong.
"Love On Top" — Beyoncé
This one is just a great, bouncy feel-good song that will get the crowd jamming. Difficulty level: advanced. If you can't hit a good high note, then go ahead and skip on this one.
"Let Go" — R.A.C.
This song is nostalgic without being overdone. The perfect song to make you pretend you're an extra in American Pie.
"Africa" — Toto
This is a nice slow jam that is equal parts annoying, hilarious, and endearing.
"Teenage Dirtbag" — Wheatus
So you're not as ballsy as drunk you. You can't sing very well and you're afraid to karaoke without the liquid courage. Just go with "Teenage Dirtbag." You don't have to be a good singer, you just have to be able to whine really well. And, as an added bonus, you can be super angsty.
"Dreams" — Fleetwood Mac
This is a dramatic ballad without any difficult high notes to stump you.
"I Don't Mind" — Usher (feat. Juicy J)
Pro tip: do this song and make your friend sing lead vocals. You take on all the Juicy J lyrics and just put your soul into scream "BUYING DEEZ BOTTLES" and "SHE HERE! SHE HERE!" to complement your friend's lyrics. It's surely a crowd pleaser.
"Let's Go" — Trick Daddy, Twista, Big D
This song is super energetic and the crowd will go wild. But whatever you do, make sure you're not the one who ends up singing Twista's part. Pawn that one off on a drunk friend.
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