It's a running joke among fans that the Pretty Little Liars parents are never around. In fact, until Season 6's prom night, I can't remember a time when we saw all four of the Liars' moms on screen together. I always found that a little strange, and based on last week's prom episode "Last Dance," it was also a huge loss. These women should have formed a wine and cheese support group long ago. Their group dynamic was hilarious, mainly because Veronica Hastings was quick to break out the Cabernet and the other moms joined her after very little convincing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I officially want to hang out with Veronica. However, this only applies if booze is involved — because when she's sober, I'm still a little afraid of her. After Veronica instigated the drinking, she proceeded to lead the charge in breaking into the DiLaurentis home to casually ask Kenneth if he'd murdered his wife and buried her in the Hastings' backyard — ten feet from Veronica's lilacs, no less! What nerve.
These moms were so great, they were practically the sponsors of this week's Bustle Pretty Little Liars podcast:
And while we all have a favorite Liar, I think it's safe to say that now we all have a favorite drunk mom too. Here's what you favorite intoxicated Rosewood mama says about you:
You work hard all week and have a lot of stress in your life, so when you have the opportunity, you're the first to suggest breaking out the wine. You may sometimes overestimate your tolerance and find yourself sharing secrets — but that's actually a relief, because you keep a lot to yourself in order to protect your family's reputation.
Once you've set your mind to something (like, for example, accusing a man of murdering his wife), no one can talk you out of it. You're not above breaking and entering, and if you happen to get locked in a basement, you don't get too stressed about it. That may be because you're more hammered than everyone else — but hey, no judgement here.
Whether you're sober or tipsy, you tend to worry about everyone around you. When you see a friend drunk and upset (looking at you, Veronica), you're the first to check on her and try to get her to eat something. You calmly advise against your friend's rash decisions, but you also won't let her break into a potential killer's house on her own. If you ever got locked in a creepy basement, you just know that somehow you'd be the one to get covered in soot searching for a way out while everyone else just stands there. Why? Because you're too darn nice and you know it! And, even if you're in a scary situation, your thoughts immediately go to a loved one who has been through worse.
You're normally the most alarmist and paranoid person in the room, but alcohol really mellows you. You suddenly have all sorts of theories — and they're not bad, but you probably should keep them to yourself when your intoxicated friend is already on a drunken rant. When you see that things are about to get out of hand, you take a gulp of wine and make a hilarious face before following your friends to get answers. Still, you keep your wits about you and remember that when you break into someone's house, it's ill-advised to leave your fingerprints on the door.
You're the most level-headed drinker in the room. People like Veronica get angry, while the Ashleys among us become emotional. When you realize that you may have just met a crazed psychopath, the Ellas of the world state it calmly and rationally. During a night of drinking, you do the least amount of talking. You prefer to watch the drama unfold rather than add to it, because your pals are causing enough insanity on their own.
Let's all raise a glass of Cabernet and toast I. Marlene King for giving us this perfect comic relief during an otherwise tense and emotional episode.
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Images: ABC Family Screengrab; irelandladniall/Tumblr (4)