How To Get Over A Breakup Lorelai Gilmore-Style In 7 Simple Steps
Going through breakups are never easy, but everyone has his or her own method of moving on after a split. Some people bury themselves into their work, while other people hide and sob into a tub of ice cream (I am the second one minus the ice cream, plus several bottles of wine). Between watching Lorelai Gilmore’s relationships fall apart and her advice to help Rory move on, there are actually some valuable lessons we can learn from Lorelai’s coping/parenting methods with respect to getting over someone. Of course you have to keep in mind that Lorelai was always much better at doling out advice versus following her own advice, but isn’t that how we all are?
Lorelai’s way of coping with a breakup may seem unorthodox, but she makes some solid points as to why sometimes we need to do weird things in order to feel better. On top of that, it’s better that we take Lorelai’s break up advice than Rory’s. I love the girl, but Rory Gilmore is the worst at break ups. Did anyone else notice how she never moved on from any of the three guys she dated over the course of the show? Lorelai may have had backslides, but everyone knew she was going to end up in the arms of Luke Danes.
Anyways, we could all use a little Lorelai life lessons, so here is the Lorelai Gilmore guide to getting over a breakup. You'll thank me (and Lorelai) later.
Step 1: Break Up Box
Collect everything in your room that reminds you of the person and put it in a box (yes, even Colonel Clucker). Hide the box, but do not throw it out. According to Lorelai, it might be nice to keep and remember things when you aren’t feeling sad about it. So pretty much bury it in the closet, never to be seen until you’re 100 percent over this person.
Step 2: Rent Bad Movies & Eat All The Junk Food
The next step to a Lorelai Gilmore breakup is to hunker down with terribly great movies (basically the Lifetime Movie Network) and a plethora of trash food from candy and chocolate to burgers, Chinese food, and anything else that you wouldn't dare test your stomach's endurance with if you weren't in desperate need of cheering up.
Step 3: Wallow
Probably the most important step is wallowing. You have to wallow, cry, and sit around feeling terrible about the whole ordeal before you can get better. You can’t just go on acting like nothing ever happened, because eventually it will all catch up to you. Think back to when Rory and Dean ended things. You must wallow because if you don’t, you'll probably kiss Chad Michael Murray… and then wallow in front of him, instead.
Step 4: Tell The Gossip Chain
Tell the one friend you know will be the news bearer to everyone in town, a.k.a. your own personal Miss Patty, so you don't have to tell your sad break up story over and over again to everyone you know.
Step 5: Road Trip
Sometimes Lorelai doesn’t follow her own advice, but occasionally when you’re feeling very pressured, you just need to get out. You need to hop in the car and just drive somewhere, so grab a friend and hit the road. Lorelai would tell you not to bring a map, but you absolutely need to remember music. Otherwise you’re on a road trip with no music, which is a fate worse than death.
Step 6: Call An Ex
I also never said Lorelai's guide to getting over a breakup was smart. Every time Lorelai breaks up with someone, she calls Christopher. He’s pretty much her I-need-attention-right-now kind of ex. I think most of us have that person and while it’s not smart, calling this person up actually might make you feel better. But whatever you do, don’t call your most current ex. That move is more pain waiting to happen and is not Lorelai-approved.
Step 7: Sleep It Off
Sometimes you just need to lie in bed for a week and alternate between sleeping and crying, especially if this break up is someone you were with for a long time and maybe even thought was “the one.” Eventually you will get up, but why push yourself before you’re ready? Also, you can find yourself a Rory to bring you food in bed.
Follow these steps and you'll bounce back just like Lorelai. And you'll get to feast on the best set-up of snacks known to womankind along the way. Win, win, win.